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    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2

    | Jersey City, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

    Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

    Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

    Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

    Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

    Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

    Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

    (The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

    Me: *screaming internally*

    Related:
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

    Customer Service Is Free, Manners Are Priceless

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (I do coffee machine demos. I’m in sales, not service. I have just come from doing a 12-hour shift before Christmas in an electronics store, where customers were rude and unpleasant, never mind ungrateful for the free coffee. I decide to pick up a burger at a drive-thru on my way home.)

    Fast Food Worker: “Hi, welcome to [fast-food place]. Can I take your order?”

    Me: “Yes, please. May I have [order]? Thanks.”

    Fast Food Worker: “Sure. That’ll be [price].”

    Me: “Thank you very much.”

    (I pull up to the window, pay, and receive my order.)

    Me: “Thank you so much.”

    Fast Food Worker: “So, you do work in customer service?”

    Me: “Yeah, how can you tell?”

    Fast Food Worker: “Only someone dealing with rude people all day says please and thank you as much as you!”

    A Stupid Experience

    never-argue-with-stupid-people

    Math Skills Are In The Lower 25 Per Cent

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (While working at an ice cream store, there is a sale for buy one ice cream, get one for 25 cents. We are jam packed, and I am manning one of the registers.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming to [store], what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like five large ice creams, please.”

    Me: “Sounds great; your total comes to $14.”

    Customer: “I thought there was a sale for 25 cents?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “So then why am I paying so much?”

    Me: “A regular large is $4.50, so three of those adds up to $13.50, plus two for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “The fifth one is supposed to be 25 cents.”

    Me: “You have to buy one first for it to be 25 cents. Would you like to buy one more blizzard?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want six ice creams; the last one needs to be 25 cents!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you the fifth one for 25 cents; you need to buy another ice cream first.”

    Customer: “GIVE ME THE ICE CREAM FOR 25 CENTS!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Its buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “I refuse to speak with you; get me your manager now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’re very busy and—”

    Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please we are very busy—”

    Customer: “I refuse to speak with such an idiot.”

    Me: “Let me get her for you…”

    (I pull my manager away from making 15 ice creams. She is very much annoyed that I have to get her.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This imbecile of an employee will not give me my 25 cent ice cream.”

    (The manager looks at my screen, and sees five ice creams.)

    Manager: “You ordered five ice creams, correct?”

    Customer: “Yes, and I want my 25 cent ice cream!”

    Manager: “It’s a buy one, get one for 25 cents. You have five ice creams. Simple math tells us that the fifth is at regular price. So either pay for your f***** ice cream, or the get the h*** out of my store.”

    Customer: “Well EXCUSE ME! I’ll take my ice creams, but I’m never coming back!”

    Manager: “Good, you weren’t going to be allowed back anyway!”

    No Common Scents, Part 2

    | Destin, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I work in a skin and body care store part time. We have dozens of different scents and lotion types.)

    Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need a lotion.”

    Me: “Absolutely! Did you need something ultra-moisturizing, or hypoallergenic? Or maybe a certain scent?”

    Customer: “Just give me one that smells good.”

    Me: “Okay, do you prefer floral scents, or fruity ones, or—”

    Customer: “God, why are you making this so difficult? Just give me one that smells good! How hard can that be?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, what I think smells good may not be what you think smells good. Every customer is different.”

    Customer: “Just give me some d*** lotion!”

    Me: *sighs* “Here, try this one.”

    (I hand her our best-selling verbena lotion.)

    Customer: “Thank you, was that so hard?”

    (One hour later…)

    Customer: “I want to return this lotion! It smells TERRIBLE! Why would you give this to me?”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. The outlet store does not allow returns. However, if you would like to tell me what kind of scent you prefer, maybe we can exchange it.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “Fine. Got anything in rose?”

    Related:
    No Common Scents


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