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    Archive for 2013

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    Powerless To Help

    | Wooster, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (There is a horrible ice storm that knocks out the power to almost the entire city. I am passing a room when a customer in only a towel opens her door and catches me.)

    Customer: “I don’t have power.”

    Me: “I know, ma’am. The power is down.”

    Customer: “When will it be up?”

    Me: “I… don’t know? Whenever the power company can get it back up?”

    (The customer huffs at me and goes back in her room. A few minutes later, I am coming out of the laundry room again. The same customer stops me, still in just her towel.)

    Customer: “I need to dry my hair.”

    Me: “I can get you more towels.”

    Customer: *holds up her hair dryer* “I need this.”

    Me: “As I told you, ma’am, there’s no power.”

    Customer: “Well, can I take it up to the front desk?”

    Me: “…ma’am?”

    Customer: “They have plugs, don’t they?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but they have no power. The power is out all over the city.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (The customer closes the door, and opens it again immediately.)

    Customer: “What about the bank?!”

    Me: “The bank…?”

    Customer: “The one across the street! They have power!”

    (I go to the window and look out. The bank and the entire strip it’s part of are dark.)

    Me: “They don’t have power, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I just need a f****** plug to plug my hair dryer in! Why can’t you just—”

    (A hand falls on her shoulder from in the room and she’s pulled back inside. Her husband sticks his head out and mouths ‘sorry’ at me before shutting the door.)

    The Screwdriver Is Complimentary

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I work at a hobby store that sells everything from arts and crafts for kids to models and remote control vehicles. A customer and her small son come in and shop around for a bit. They eventually bring up a vacuum for catching bugs.)

    Me: “Alright. That will be [price]. This requires three AA batteries. Did you need those?”

    Customer: “Yeah. We better get some.”

    Me: “Okay. Your new total comes to [price].”

    (They pay and leave. Not five minutes later they come back in.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, but do you have a screwdriver to open this with?”

    (The customer meant one she could buy but we have one behind the counter for this type of situation. I go ahead and just open the battery cover for her on the bug catcher.)

    Me: “There we are! You’re good to go.”

    (I hand it back to the little boy. They begin to leave when the customer turns around and addresses her son.)

    Customer: “Tell the nice lady ‘thank you.’”

    Son: *with a look of concentration on his face* “You… are… sooo… beautiful.”

    Me: “Why, thank you!”

    (The mom is slightly embarrassed but thanks me again. They leave. I turn to my coworker, who watched the whole thing and is smiling)

    Me: “I don’t know where he learned those manners from, but he’s gonna do well in life.”

    Can I Return This?

    1367160184079

    Needs Glasses To See The Irony

    | Cornwall, England, UK | Health & Body

    (I work for a large chain opticians. One of our main competitors has a store three doors down.)

    Customer: “I have an appointment. My name is [Name].”

    Me: “Can I take your date of birth as well. I can’t seem to find your name on screen.”

    Customer: “It’s [date]. I know I have an appointment in five minutes with Mr. [Name].”

    Me: “We don’t have anyone here with that name and I can’t find you in our customer list. Are you sure the appointment isn’t with [Competitor]?”

    Customer: “Just because I need the test doesn’t make me blind! I know where my appointment is and I have the card to prove it!”

    (The customer throws his appointment card on the desk. It becomes immediately clear that he is supposed to be three doors down.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, Mr [Name]. That is [Competitor]’s card. You need to go there.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that. I know where I am! Just because you’ve redecorated in the last week doesn’t mean you can pull the wool over my eyes.”

    Me: “I assure you, sir. You are in [My Opticians’]. This happens all the time.”

    Customer: “No! I want to speak to your manager! How dare you refuse to see me! I’ve been a customer of Mr [Name]‘s for years and—”

    (The customer looks closely at my uniform and the large logo on my shirt.)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me I was in the wrong place? I’m going to be late because of you!” *runs out*

    A Bona-Fido Idiot

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work for an animal charity. I am out in the local community promoting responsible dog ownership.)

    Me: “So is your dog neutered then?”

    Customer: “Sorry?”

    Me: “Sorry, madam. Is your dog neutered?”

    (The customer stares blankly.)

    Colleague: “Madam, has your dog been castrated?”

    (The customer continues to stare blankly.)

    Me: “Has he been ‘done’?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. He did have an operation on his ears a few weeks ago…”


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