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    Take Note Of The Note

    , | NM, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the restaurant and buys a juice for $1.60 with a $20 bill. I’m a bit suspicious of people who pay small totals with much larger bills, as I had just been scammed that weekend and had to pay $19 to the store.)

    Me: “Thank you, let me just get your change.”

    Customer: “Wait, wait! I just found the change in my purse. Here’s $1.60.”

    Me: “Okay, thank you. Here is your $20 back.”

    (I stare at the bill I hand back to her for a full second before actually giving it back to her. I have to be sure I hand her a $20 bill, as that’s how the scam works.)

    Customer: “Hey, you only gave me back a dollar.”

    (As if to prove this, the customer waives a dollar at me.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am absolutely sure I gave you a $20 bill.”

    Customer: “No you didn’t; take this dollar and give me my $20.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I know I gave you a $20 bill. If you’d like I can pull this drawer right now and count it. If it’s over by $19, then it’s my mistake, but I am sure I gave you back your money.”

    Customer: “No, no I’m very busy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; store policy is that I pull and count the drawer, so I’m going to go ahead and do that. It’ll take a few minutes if you want to take a seat.”

    Customer: “No! I’m very busy; I have to get to work. I can’t wait for you. Just give me my $20.”

    Me: “There are cameras watching this drawer; I cannot do that. I have to pull the drawer.”

    Customer: “Well you do that! I’ll be back later!”

    (The customer ends up leaving the dollar she was waiving at me on the counter. My drawer was spot on plus the extra dollar she left. She tried to scam me and instead lost money! She never came back, of course.)

    Focusing On The Wrong Kind Of Cup Size

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am a female in my early twenties, the only female working this particular shift with three burly male coworkers. I am on the front register taking orders and money, when a customer walks in. He is a sloppily-dressed old man.)

    Me: “Hi there! How are you?”

    Customer: “I’m doin’ great, sweetie. How ’bout you get me a big cup of coffee?”

    Me: “Sounds great. Do you need any room for cream in there, sir?”

    Customer: “I got some cream for ya!”

    (He winks lewdly at me. I try to shake it off.)

    Me: “Alright, here is your coffee. Anything else for you, sir?”

    Customer: “Nope. What’s my total so you can ring me up?”

    (The customer seems oddly eager to pay. I give him his total and he hands me a very worn credit card. I try to swipe through our machine once or twice before determining its magnetic strip is too worn to be read. I am about to start typing in the numbers, when he interrupts me, looking very flushed and excited.)

    Customer: “No, no, don’t type it in. It’ll work if you just rub it on your chest.”

    (I am a little creeped out, but I wipe the card off on the bottom of my apron and give it another shot. It still won’t run through.)

    Customer: “No, no, sweetie, I said it’ll work if you rub it on your chest. Actually, it’ll work best if I rub it on your chest for you.”

    (At this point, I’m done. I step back from the register without another word and call for one of my coworkers, a big, burly 33-year-old man whose other job is construction. He comes over as I am walking away.)

    Me: *to my coworker* “I’m going to the back because the man at the front is asking to rub things on my chest.”

    (My coworker walks up to the register and looks down at the customer. He is a good foot taller than the customer.)

    Coworker: “I heard you like rubbing things on people’s chests? Well, have at it.”

    (My coworker leans forward just as I go into the back room. I didn’t see what happened next, but my coworker told me the customer panicked and ran out of the store without paying and without his coffee. We never saw him again!)

    Paying Customers Only

    url

    Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories

    | Not Always Right | Holidays, Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five funny seasonal stories about fall/autumn!

    1. A Good Chance Of A Falling Out (4,082 thumbs up)
    2. A Pal-Tree Understanding Of Plants (2,171 thumbs up)
    3. Window Pains (1,106 thumbs up)
    4. Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym (1,505 thumbs up)
    5. Happy PTLBOTT Day! (2,715 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Pen-ding Emergency

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a call center for an oil and gas company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] emergency line. Are you reporting an emergency?”

    Caller: “Yes, very urgent.”

    Me: “Alright, I’ll just need to gather some details in case we are disconnected. May I please have your first and last name?”

    Caller: *angry* “You don’t need my name!”

    Me: “Not a problem; may I please have your telephone number with area code?”

    Caller: “No! You don’t need that either. Just f****** help me!”

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, what is nature of the emergency?”

    Caller: “My pen broke. I need a new one right now.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; this is an oil and gas emergency line. We’d be unable to assist with getting you a new pen.”

    Caller: “No, f*** you! You gave me this pen last week and it broke already. How am I supposed to play with my cat now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; this is an emergency line. I can provide you the main office number where they may be able to locate you a new pen.”

    Caller: “Are you serious? I can’t play with my cat and you don’t think this is an emergency?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, this issue would not be considered an emergency.”

    Caller: “Well f*** you then. I hope you’re happy; you’ve killed my cat!” *slams down the receiver*

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