Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,377 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2012

    Jump to page:

    Your Fault

    Honesty Is The Best Policy

    | California, USA | Holidays

    (Note: this occurs right after Christmas.)

    Customer: “Where is my order? I placed it Friday night and I chose Next Day Air, but I waited all day on Saturday and the deliveryman never showed up!”

    Me: “Ma’am, [delivery company] does not deliver on weekends. Our shipping policy also clearly states that all processing times and shipping times are in business days.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time to read your stupid shipping policy! You guys should have known what I wanted and told me if my order wasn’t going to be here Saturday!”

    Me: “We can only process orders based on information provided to us. If you had noted in the comments that you needed it by Christmas, we could have called you notified you that it would not have been possible.”

    Customer: “Don’t argue with me! I’m the stupid customer! I just press the buttons, give you my money, and you need to make it work!”

    Getting Them Back Is True Therapy, Part 2

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

    (We have a regular customer who was diagnosed with breast cancer and had lost all her hair from the Chemo. She is only 17 at the time. Everyone who goes to the shop more than once knows her. I’m a barista who is out the back getting ready for my shift in few minutes. Three very obnoxious customers came in and began to talk very loudly at the end of a mildly long line.)

    Customer #1: “Ugh, why did we have to come to this hipster place? It’s so trashy!”

    Customer #2: “I know! Everyone is so stuck up with their MacBooks and iPads! Like, get a life!”

    Customer #3: “And everyone looks so ugly! Look at that girl in the corner! She has no hair!”

    Customer #2: “That’s because she’s super hipster! She does it for no other reason than because no one else is!”

    Customer #1: “Oh, my God! Ew!”

    (At this point pretty much everyone inside has heard what they’ve said and is looking in the general direction of the trio. Customer #3 seems to notice this and quietens up. Two police officers (both regulars) walk in and join the line behind the three customers. The three customers talk like this for another minute before one deliberately talks loudly enough for the whole place to hear.)

    Customer #1: “Hipsters are stupid! Your head looks retarded; I mean come on, who would want to be bald and ugly like you?!”

    (At this point, the girl in the corner starts to cry a little bit. Everyone around her begins to comfort her, but the barista loses his cool.)

    Barista: “No. You do not talk to her that way! Get out of my store! The three of you! You’re not welcome here! Ever!”

    Customer #1: “I’ve been waiting in line for 10 minutes (more like three) and I’m not leaving without my coffee!”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, we deserve our coffee!”

    (Customer #3 hasn’t said a word since she walked in, and begins to walk out and wait outside for the other two.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #3* “Where are you going?! Don’t wuss out! We need to get our coffee before next class!”

    Barista: “Take your friends advice and, for the last time, leave.”

    Customers #1 & 2: “No!”

    Police Officer #1: “You two have been asked to leave by the gentlemen behind the counter. I suggest you do so.”

    Customer #2: “That hipster can’t make us leave!”

    Customer #1: “We have rights!”

    Police Officer #1: “So does everyone else here and you are violating them. You’ve visibly upset this poor girl who’s going through the toughest time in her life right now.”

    Customer #1: “As if! We go to Uni! We get way more stressed!”

    Police Officer #2: “We’re not here to argue with you. Either leave or you’ll both be arrested for trespassing since you’ve already been asked to leave twice.”

    Customer #1: “You cant f***ing do that! We haven’t done anything wrong and we’re not f***ing leaving until we get our f***ing coffee, you a**hole!”

    Police Officer #2: “That’s it, turn around, hands behind your back.”

    Police Officer #1: “Now.”

    (As the officers try to motion them to turn around, they resist and begin to try and push the officers away. After a bit more fighting, the unruly customers end on the ground, squealing with their hands cuffed. As the officers are radioing in for a car, everyone is comforting the girl in the corner, whose name is Hannah. However, they quickly begin laughing their heads off as Hannah herself is jumping up and down (in the literal sense) in her seat with the biggest smile on her face. Her father later comes in as news spreads and buys everyone a drink. A couple of years later, Hannah has beaten her cancer but remains bald for her own personal reasons. She’s still stops by every few weeks to chat and everyone loves her. Even the two police officers stop by at least once a week. We all refer to that as the day as ‘The Most Awesome Day Ever’.)

    Related:
    Getting Them Back Is True Therapy

    Training Draining

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (It’s around 12 pm. I’m training a new girl on her third shift. She’s never been on register before, so I’m walking her through it before I teach her how to serve. Our register layout has changed that day, so every employee on shift is re-learning it. All of a sudden, a woman who has been standing in line for around two minutes walks straight up to the register. The register has a sign on it clearly stating that it is closed.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s lunchtime, and you’re training! Do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but this is her training shift and—”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’ve been standing here for ten minutes! You have one girl serving and it’s extremely busy!”

    (We have around five customers besides her, three of whom have ordered and paid.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’ll get you my manager.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time!”

    Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “This girl is being extremely rude to me and refusing to serve me!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but as you can see, this register is closed. Our trainee is currently being trained. If you’ll just step into that line over there, we’ll take your order.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time! Are you all stupid!?. Some of us are on our meal breaks!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This line isn’t even moving!”

    (The manager is needed in two other parts of the store at this point, so she instructs me to have the trainee serve the customer, and then get back to training her.)

    Customer: “Finally. It’s lunch time!”

    (The customer then proceeds to rattle off a long and extremely complicated order. This is difficult for both the trainee and myself and takes around five minutes to put through her order. She begins screaming about slow service around halfway through. The trainee is nearly in tears by this point.)

    Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! You’re so f***ing slow! Don’t you know how to use a register?”

    Me: *finally losing my patience* “No, she doesn’t. That’s what I was trying to teach her before.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You have been extremely rude to my staff, who are only doing as they have been instructed to do. Here is your food.”

    Customer: “You can’t do this to me! I’m going to your owners, and I’m going to your head office! What’s your name? What’s her name?”

    (The manager gives both of our names.)

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU BOTH FIRED!”

    (The customer then proceeds to charge out of the store, still ranting about poor service.)

    Manager: “Yeah, have fun with that.”

    Word To The Whys

    | Austin, TX, USA | Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Thank you for calling [business]; how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’d do this to me! I’ve been a customer for years! I’ve spent literally thousands of dollars with you! Why would you do this to me?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but what’s happened?”

    Customer: “You charged me for two [products], but only sent one. Why are you trying to rip off a loyal customer?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry your order wasn’t complete. I’ll get the missing item shipped to you today.”

    Customer: “But why did you do this to me?”

    Me: “I think it was just a mistake. We wouldn’t do something like that intentionally.”

    Customer: “Of course you did! The packing slip clearly says ‘F*** you!’ on it!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that! Can you send me a photo so I can forward it to my manager?”

    Customer: “Why? Don’t you believe me?!”

    Me: “I need to see the handwriting to figure out who wrote it.”

    Customer: “Fine. I’ll mail it back.”

    Me: “I would prefer it if you email a photo, but mailing it back is fine. In the meantime, I’ll get the missing [product] sent to you.”

    Customer: “I still can’t believe you’d do this to me!”

    (The customer mails in the slip, and sure enough, written in crayon in a very unsteady hand that I don’t recognize, is ‘F*** you!’. However, it’s followed in the same handwriting and crayon by, ‘I can’t believe you’d do this to me!’)

    Page 7/457First...56789...Last