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    Archive for 2012

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    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5

    | Maryland, USA | Language & Words

    Customer: “Do you have any fecal heart monitors?”

    Me: “Uh…what?”

    Customer: “You know, to hear the baby while it’s still in the womb?”

    Me: “That would be a fetal heart monitor. Right this way…”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    It’s The Secret Sauce

    | Orem, UT, USA | Food & Drink

    (I take to-go orders over the phone. This was a call from one of our daily customers.)

    Customer: “I was also wondering if you had areola sauce.”

    Me: “Um…sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “Areola sauce! Someone’s asking for it.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    (In the background, someone yells and everyone starts laughing.)

    Customer: “Oh God! Is that what I said? Well, s***. That’s definitely not what I want.”

    (After nearly ten minutes of laughing and getting nowhere in their order, the phone gets passed around until someone can stop laughing long enough to talk. I gave them some free dessert for making my week.)

    Papa’s Not Home

    , | Niceville, FL, USA | Food & Drink

    (This takes place between my manager and a customer over the phone.)

    Caller: “Hey, is John there?”

    Manager: “Sorry sir, this is [pizza place]. There’s no John here.”

    Caller: “Stop playin’, John, we’re supposed to go to the movies soon.”

    Manager: “Sir, seriously, this is [pizza place]. I think you may have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “Well, crap! Do y’all have any deals?”

    Manager: “Well, you can get a large 3 topping and a 2-liter for $10.60.”

    Caller: “D***, that’s better than John!”

    Manager: “Yes, sir, it sure is.”

    Not Always Right: Story of the Year

    | Not Always Right |

    Not Always Right: Story of the YearHappy New Year, folks!

    We know customers have driven you crazy in 2011, but we’d like to thank you for taking the time out of your busy days to read and share your stories!

    In celebration of the New Year, we’re asking you to vote on the Not Always Right Story of the Year!

    Step #1: Below are 3 of the top stories for 2011. Read each story by clicking on its link. Then, return to this page for Step #2.

    Step #2: Place your vote below.

    Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

    Don’t forget to share the stories above with your friends and ask them to vote on the story they think is the funniest!

    Please Follow us on Twitter and Like us on Facebook—we’ll announce the winners there!

    And…We’re Still Here (Happy New Year, Everyone!)

    | Vermont, USA | Bizarre

    (A customer, more intent on small talk than shopping, wanders into the bakery.)

    Customer: “So, you have a stove in your bakery?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: “I run a thrift store. We’re looking for stoves. I’m gonna need a stove when I move.”

    Me: “Oh?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m building a church up on the mountain for when the famine hits. People will need a place to go, y’know?”

    Me: “Um…yeah…that’s a good idea.”

    Customer: “Yeah. It’ll be a church and thrift shop. Gotta diversify. You should do more than just baking at your bakery.”

    Me: “We’ll take that into consideration…”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was talking to my boss. You know how everyone thinks the world will end in 2012? Well, my boss told me to change that to 2011 in the US!”

    Me: “Oh.”

    Customer: “Yeah, there’s going to be a huge famine and everyone is going to die!”

    Me: “Well, thanks for the warning. Have a nice day!”


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