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    Archive for 2012

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    Granny Warbucks

    | Millbury, MA, USA |

    (I work in the girl’s department of the store where we have many items of clothing with peace signs on them. I’m putting some clothes away when an elderly lady comes up behind me.)

    Customer: “There are a lot of peace signs.”

    Me: “Yeah, I guess they’re popular.”

    Customer: “Not with me!”

    A Cup Of Crackaccino, Please

    | Oklahoma, OK, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like a 16 ounce blended iced latte with caramel.”

    Me: “Okay!”

    Customer: “And could you add this to it?” *hands me a plastic baggie of white powder*

    Brains Over Brawn

    | Germany | Food & Drink

    (I work as a patient coordinator in an outpatient clinic. In our waiting room, we have a coffee machine that has three options on it: mild, regular, and bold. To use it, one simply opens up the compartment and places a single packet on the tray.)

    Coworker: “There’s coffee everywhere in the waiting room!”

    (I go to check it out. There is coffee all in the general area, on a patient, who is unhurt, and all of her papers. I ask the patient what happened)

    Patient: “Your coffee machine is terrible; that’s what happened! Your coffee is so weak and I tried to make it stronger! Then, it shot coffee everywhere!”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that! Let me see what I can do.”

    (I open the coffee machine to see that the patient has shoved two coffee packets in the compartment, which clearly is supposed to take one. It’s a wonder the machine didn’t break.)

    Me: “Ma’am, did you place two coffee packets in the compartment?”

    Patient: “Of course! How else can I make it stronger?”

    Me: *noticing the “Mild” option is selected* “Next time, please press the button that says ‘Bold’.”

    Related:
    Brawn Over Brains

    Preemptive Strike: Shock And Awe

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    (I approach a customer to see if he needs help.)

    Me: “Hello!”

    Customer: “No, thank you.”

    Me: *confused*

    Placebo Me, Part 4

    | Bowling Green, OH, USA |

    (I’m at the service desk helping a few guests that come up for returns and such. A lady holding a “Lion King DVD Edition” and her receipt approaches)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am! What can I do for you tonight?”

    Customer: “I need to exchange this for a DVD. I don’t want the Blu-Ray.”

    (I look at the box. It is indeed the DVD version of the “Lion King” movie, as it says in bold lettering at the top “DVD EDITION”. There is a small sticker on the cover that states “Also in Blu-Ray Combo Packs”)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it looks like you already have the DVD version. It says right at the top here–“

    Customer: “No! I don’t want the Blu-Ray version! I called in! Give me the DVD version instead of this Blu-Ray.”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, it’s just a sticker that says it’s there’s also a Blu-Ray version–“

    Customer: “NO! I want the DVD version!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me head back to the department and see if I can find the DVD version. Just give me a second.”

    (I take the movie back to the department and peel back the sticker, removing it. I then go back to the desk, handing her back the movie without the sticker)

    Me: “Here you are, ma’am. Sorry about that.”

    Customer: “It’s about time! Thank you!”

    (She leaves in a huff, grumbling about blu-ray movies.)

    Related:
    Placebo Me, Part 3
    Placebo Me, Part 2
    Placebo Me

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