October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Archive for 2012

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And…We’re Still Here (Happy New Year, Everyone!)

| Vermont, USA | Bizarre

(A customer, more intent on small talk than shopping, wanders into the bakery.)

Customer: “So, you have a stove in your bakery?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer: “I run a thrift store. We’re looking for stoves. I’m gonna need a stove when I move.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m building a church up on the mountain for when the famine hits. People will need a place to go, y’know?”

Me: “Um…yeah…that’s a good idea.”

Customer: “Yeah. It’ll be a church and thrift shop. Gotta diversify. You should do more than just baking at your bakery.”

Me: “We’ll take that into consideration…”

Customer: “Yeah, I was talking to my boss. You know how everyone thinks the world will end in 2012? Well, my boss told me to change that to 2011 in the US!”

Me: “Oh.”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s going to be a huge famine and everyone is going to die!”

Me: “Well, thanks for the warning. Have a nice day!”

The Solemnest Guarantee

| Chesterfield, Missouri, USA | At The Checkout

Me: “Okay, what form of payment would you like to use?”

Customer: “Credit, please.” *hands me credit card with photo on card*

(I hold up the card to ensure it’s the right person.)

Customer: “Trust me, there are no two people in this world this ugly.”

Supply And Demand For Dummies

| Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Do have any more [brand name] chicken noodle soup mix?

(The shelf is empty, so I look around to see if we have any hidden on the shelf.)

Me: “There is none here. Let me go check the backroom.”

(I go check and come back a few minutes later)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not have any left.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? Who runs out of chicken noodle soup in the middle of winter?”

Me: “Well, it is the middle of winter…”

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