Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,162 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2012

    Jump to page:

    The Kitchen Chainsaw Massacre

    | Toronto, Canada | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Oftentimes, customers want free advice on the phone on what to do in order to save on getting an estimate or a inspection.)

    Caller: “I need advice on something. Let’s say I have a big wall dividing the kitchen and the dinning room, but I want to open it up so I have a big room. Can I do that?”

    Me: “Well, probably, but there might be complications. For example, if you have a load bearing wall, we’d need to set it up so that the load is distributed differently. Not to mention, there are pipes and wires you need to worry about. Really, we’d need to send someone out to look it over, sir. It’s not really something we can tell you over the phone without seeing it first.”

    Caller: “No, no. I got what I needed.”

    Me: “Uh, okay.”

    (He then hangs up. One week later, he calls back.)

    Caller: “I’m going to sue you. I’m going to sue the living heck out of your business. You ruined my life.”

    Me: “What? What’s going on? Who is this?”

    Caller: “I called for advice. You said I could remove my wall in between my kitchen and dinning room. Well, I did. I cut it out with my chainsaw and everything was fine until my ceiling caved in. And you know what’s above my kitchen? The upstairs bath room. The bathtub fell through and I had to turn off the water because it damaged my pipes. Now, who’s gonna pay for that?”

    Not Firmly Rooted In Reality

    | Vermont, USA |

    (I work at a “cut your own” Christmas tree farm.)

    Customer: “Are these locally grown?”

    Threaten Differently

    | USA | Technology, Top

    (A customer is calling because iTunes can’t detect her new iPad. I pick up the phone and she speaks immediately.)

    Customer: “I swear that if, at any point in this conversation, you tell me to buy a Mac, I will find you and kill you.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’m not telling you to buy a Mac, but you should know that they cut back on compatibility issues and-”

    Customer: “Don’t do it. Just stop now. Make the PC work. I believe in you.”

    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a drive-in which is fairly popular in some parts of the country. Our kids’ meals are called Wacky Packs. The following takes place as I’m bringing the food out to a car.)

    Me: “And here’s your wacky pack.”

    Customer: “My what?”

    Me: “Your wacky pack. Sorry, that’s what we call our kids’ meals.”

    Customer: “A wocky pack?”

    Me: “A wacky pack.”

    Customer: “Oh! A wacky pack!”

    (I continue to hand her the food.)

    Me: “And here’s your apple juice. Sorry, we ran out of juice boxes so we poured some into a cup for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I love juice boxes; they’re my favorite!”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I like them too. They’re fun.”

    Customer: “To go with my wacky pack!” *giggle*

    Related:
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

    More Than You Bargained For, Part 4

    | Georgia, USA |

    Customer: “I’ll have one student ticket for [movie].”

    Me: “It’s matinee right now. We don’t have student prices until after 6.”

    Customer: “But I want my student discount!”

    Me: “A student ticket is actually more expensive. Since it’s matinee right now, it’s only $5.”

    Customer: “Do you just not want to give it to me because I’m [ethnicity]?”

    Me: “No. It’s because the student tickets are more expensive.”

    Customer: “GIVE ME MY DISCOUNT!!!”

    Me: “Alright, that will be $7…”

    Related:
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 3
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 2
    More Than You Bargained For

    Page 453/457First...451452453454455...Last