(A little girl approaches me holding up a book with a unicorn on the cover.)
Little Girl: “I think unicorns are beautiful!”
Me: “They sure are! That looks like a great book for you!”
Little Girl: “I think you’re a unicorn!”
Me: “Aww! Does that mean you think I’m beautiful?”
Little Girl: “No! It means you’re a horse with a big horn on your head!”
Me: “Umm… thank you?”
This story is part of our Unicorn roundup!
Read the next Unicorn roundup story!
Read the Unicorn roundup!
Customer: “Hello, my sister just bought this item at one of your other stores, and it was much cheaper. Here it’s $49, but she got hers for $20. You should do this for the same price.”
Me: “Hmm, that’s odd. All stores should have the same sales, and that item is already on a very good special. I don’t think it would go for $20. But I will check with the store to see if this was on special there, and if it is we can do it for the same price. Which store did your sister go to? I’ll call them now.”
Customer: “Oh, here… I’ll call my sister, and she’ll tell you that she got it cheaper!”
Me: “I actually need to call the store she was at and speak to a staff member who can check for me. Your sister can tell me the price, but I can’t authorise a price override just from talking to another customer. I need to speak to the other store.”
(The customer ignores me and dials her sister anyway. She speaks to her in another language for a while, then hands the phone to me.)
Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Store]. Your sister tells me you got a [item] for a discounted price?”
Customer’s Sister: “Yes, I got it for $20 at another store today.”
Me: “Okay, that’s great, but I’m going to have to call that store to check. Which one did you go to?”
Customer’s Sister: “Uh… the [Suburb] store.”
Me: “Oh? That’s very interesting since they closed down three and a half years ago. Thanks for your time!”
Customer: *quickly leaves without her item*
(After receiving excellent customer service from a representative, I ask to be transferred to a supervisor.)
Supervisor: “Hello, I’m [Name]. How can I help you?”
Me: “Hello! I was just working with [Name Of Rep], and I wanted to tell someone what a great job she did. She was patient, friendly, efficient, and knowledgeable, and she really helped me out.”
Supervisor: “I’m very glad to hear that! Thanks so much for bringing this to my attention! I sincerely apologize!”
Me: “Um… you apologize?”
Supervisor: “Oops. I meant to say ‘appreciate’. I guess I’m just used to taking calls and immediately having to apologize.”
Me: *laughing* “No worries whatsoever. I work in customer service, too.”
Supervisor: “Oh! Then you know.”
Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but can I ask you something?”
Coworker: “Sure thing, sir.”
Customer: “You’re Asian, yes?”
Coworker: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “Which part of Asia are you from?”
Coworker: “Oh, I’m from Thailand.”
Customer: “What? You just told me you were Asian!”
Coworker: “Yes, I am, sir. Thailand is part of Asia.”
Customer: “No, it’s not!”
Coworker: *stays silent*
Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember now. Vietnam is that little island next to Korea!”
(I’m a volunteer at an animal shelter. People can pay a small donation to come and see our animals. One day I’m returning a dog to its kennel when a customer approaches me.)
Customer: “This is ridiculous! I want to see your manager!”
Me: “Um, I’m just a volunteer here, sir. If you speak to somebody in reception—”
Customer: “Rubbish! You’re just making excuses! I paid my donation to see your dogs and I can only get into one block. The other three are closed! I know you have more dogs!”
Me: “We close three blocks for the dogs’ welfare, sir. If you’re interested in—”
Customer: “I don’t give a f*** about the dogs’ welfare! I want to see more dogs! You have no customer service at all, do you?!”
(On hearing this, another customer approaches and gives the very rude customer a £5 note.)
Another Customer: “Here’s £5; consider it a refund. Because I can tell you, sir, they would absolutely NOT allow you anywhere near their animals with that attitude!”
