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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Archive for 2012

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    Sudo-Religious

    | New Zealand | Religion, Technology

    (An older customer with a very old laptop approaches me.)

    Customer: “Can you help me? I upgraded to the new Windows 7 thing and it’s going really really slow. Do I have a virus?”

    Me: “I’ll take a look, but have you considered running Linux or moving back to Windows XP if you still have it? Your computer’s probably slow because it’s not new enough to handle the more intensive new operating systems.”

    Customer: “But Linux is made by atheists!”

    Challenge Accepted

    Extras

    Fatty On The Top

    Extras

    Based on this Not Always Right story by “Albireo”.

    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air, Part 3

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (One late night at the diner where I work, a customer comes in late at night, obviously drunk. She orders three pork chops, hash browns with all the toppings, and eggs.  The customer eats everything on the plates then calls me over.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “My hash browns had peppers in them. I’m deathly allergic! I need you to give me the food for free.  I have to go to the hospital.

    Me: “Do you need me to call an ambulance?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. I can get there on my own. Just give me the food for free.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. You ate all of your food and you seem fine.”

    Customer: “Then give me a discount, half off. I’m allergic to peppers! You gave them to me! I’m going to sue you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you seem fine, and you obviously saw and tasted the peppers, yet you ate it anyway. I can’t give you a discount.”

    Customer: *starts breathing heavily* “You did this to me…” *gasps for air* “…and you won’t give me my food for free! I’m suing you!”

    Me: “That’s okay, but you still have to pay. I’ll have to call the police if you don’t pay.”

    Customer: *abruptly stops breathing heavily, pays, walks out, and gives everyone the middle finger*

    Related:
    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air, Part 2
    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air

    Bad Day LA

    , | Goshen, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (It’s my first night working drive-thru. I’m really nervous and trying to be polite to the customers. A man orders his meal and pulls up to window to pay. He looks mad. He pays me, and I give him his change and hand him his bag.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Customer: “Not with the day I’m having.”

    Me: “Yeah, we all have those kind of days.”

    Customer: “NOT with the kind of day I’m having! When your wife leaves you for a richer man, goes to California with him, and then calls you because she wants money to come home, THEN you’re having a bad day!” *screeches out of parking lot*

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