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    Archive for 2012

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    Once You See It…

    Is This A Parking Spot?

    Minimum Wage Vs. Maximum Rage

    | USA | At The Checkout

    (This takes place at a national retailer who takes pride in its lifetime warranty on hand tools.  One customer came in trying to take up the store on that offer.)

    Customer: “I’d like to exchange these tools.”

    Employee: “Unfortunately, these are planing tools and we no longer carry these in this store.”

    Customer: “These are hand tools, and you have a lifetime guarantee on these. They’re broken, so I want new ones.”

    Employee: “I understand, and you’re absolutely correct, but we can’t give you replacement tools because we don’t carry them here. However, we can give you an address, and if you send the tools there, they will ship you back some replacements.”

    Customer: “Well, I need these tools now! You have a warranty, and I want to fulfill that agreement!”

    Employee: “I’m sorry. I’d like to help you, but it’s just not possible for us to replace your tools at this location.”

    Customer: “I bet you’re sorry. Yeah, I bet you just work here, don’t you? You just work here, so it’s not your fault, is it?!”

    Employee: “Yes, I do work here. Again, I’m sorry we can’t replace your tools, but we don’t have them in stock.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you just ‘work here’. You probably just work here for minimum wage. You’re probably just coming in, getting your $7 an hour and checking out. I’m not going to be coming back again. You can just work for your $7 an hour and not care about your customers!” *begins storming out*

    Employee: “Actually, it’s $6.50, sir!”

    Don’t Try Doctoring The Doctor

    | Sydney, Australia | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I am a medical receptionist for a busy medical centre. On this particular Friday night, we only have two doctors on and at least 35 people waiting. A new patient comes in.)

    New Patient: “Yes, I’d like to see a doctor, please.”

    Me: “Certainly sir. Although I must tell you, there will be approximately an hour and half wait. As you can see, we are very busy tonight.”

    New Patient: “Are you sure you can’t just squeeze me in at the top of the queue? I couldn’t be bothered to go to work today, so I need a medical certificate.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, that won’t be possible. We have a large number of patients with more serious ailments.”

    New Patient: “That’s f***ing ridiculous!”

    (About ten minutes pass. One of the doctors comes out and calls another patient’s name.)

    Doctor: “Mr. [another patient]?”

    New Patient: “Yes! That’s me!”

    Doctor: “No, it’s not.”

    New Patient: “How do you know?! How dare you assume that I’m lying! Do you know who I am?!”

    Doctor: “I know for a fact that you’re not my brother-in-law, whose name I just called.”

    New Patient: *sheepishly picks up his bags and leaves*

    Another Darwin Awards Candidate, Part 2

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

    (Note: This occurs at the pump while the customer’s car is filling.)

    Customer: “Is it okay if I smoke here?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I heard the law changed.”

    Me: “No, because gas is still flammable.”

    Customer: “Oh, it is?”

    Related:
    Another Darwin Awards Candidate

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