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    Archive for 2012

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    We Prefer Our Privates Private

    | Edmonton, Canada | Health & Body

    (At my store we sell Saxx, a type of men’s boxer briefs that contains a “holder” for added support and comfort for men. These sell for around $25- $30. A customer is buying 2 pairs.)

    Me: “So, the Saxx will be final sale because they are an undergarment. Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “But why are they final sale? What if I decide I don’t like them?”

    Me: “Well, typically people don’t want to purchase products that have already been worn, especially underwear.”

    Customer: “But these are men’s underwear!”

    Me: “That doesn’t make a difference. For hygienic reasons, we can’t resell these. So, they’re a final sale.”

    Customer: “Fine! But I don’t see what the problem is. Men don’t care about that; only women do!”

    A Runaway Train Of Thought, Part 2

    | USA | Pets & Animals

    (An elderly couple enters the store and starts checking out our collection of animals.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yes, we would like a pet…maybe a cat, or a dog…”

    Woman: “…or a rabbit, or a turtle.”

    Man: “Yes. One of those…”

    Woman: “…or all of them.”

    Man: “Oh yeah, that’s possible too…”

    Woman: “…and a hamster. Don’t forget the hamster!”

    Man: “And a few birds…”

    Woman: “…or cake. I’d like cake…”

    Man: “…with a cup of coffee. ”

    Woman: “Yeah. That’s across the street. I see!”

    Man: *to me* “Okay, thank you sir. goodbye!”

    Me: *amused and confused* “Enjoy your cake…goodbye!”

    Related:
    A Runaway Train Of Thought

    Flaws And Effect

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (We used to have a candy topping for a certain holiday drink. It was discontinued because people found it unpleasant. One customer went as far as to claim that a barista “must have dropped fried rice from their lunch into the drink”. There had been a minor incident over it, and the customer was outraged. This takes place the following year in the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hi, here’s your latte! Have a nice night.”

    Customer: “Where’s the candied ginger from last year? I only ordered this because I wanted the ginger. I’m not going to enjoy my drink as much now!”

    Coworker: “Well, we don’t use it any more because people didn’t like it. Someone even insisted there was rice in their drink! Isn’t that kind of funny?”

    Customer: “Oh yes…I remember. Uh…that was me, actually.” *drives away sheepishly*

    As Long As It’s A Tofu Hat

    | USA | Pets & Animals

    (I am a zookeeper, and am taking care of five lions which are new arrivals. We’ve set up a natural habitat for them and they are ready to be introduced to their new home. I press the button that raises the gate between their cage and the habitat, and they begin to examine their new surroundings. As I do this, I get tapped on the shoulder by a visitor.)

    Visitor: “New arrivals?”

    Me: “Yes, just got here this morning.”

    Visitor: “What do they eat?”

    Me: “Well, meat, of course.”

    Visitor: *nods* “I thought so. Then, I am just in time. We need to protect these poor animals!”

    (The visitor hands me a poster about being a vegetarian. I look at it, and then look back at her.)

    Me: “So these lions should NOT eat meat?”

    Visitor: “No, of course not! There are enough healthy alternatives, as listed on this poster!”

    Me: “I don’t think the lions would agree with that. However, they do eat vegetarians; cows and so on, you know. Nature.”

    Visitor: “Oh, no!” *turns to the lions* “I’ll bring tofu tomorrow, you’ll like it!”

    (As she leaves, a female coworker who has overheard the conversation chimes in.)

    Coworker: “If she can do that, I’ll eat my hat!”

    May The Employees Be Ever In Your Favor

    | Belgium | Top

    (I’m a customer sitting in a bookstore calmly reading my own book. I always go there because it’s pretty cozy and they let me because I’m a regular.)

    Customer: “Hey, you have a copy of The Hunger Games! The store employee said it was sold out!”

    Me: “This is my own copy, ma’am. I just come here to read.”

    Customer: “You little liar! You just don’t want ME to take the last copy to the counter first!”

    (Suddenly, the customer snatches my book out of my hands and runs to the counter.)

    Employee: “Excuse me ma’am, but I’m going to ask you to give that book back to the young miss over there.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! But I came here first!”

    Employee: “I can, in fact, confirm that the book belongs to the young miss.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Sell me this book!”

    Employee: “I’m afraid I can’t, ma’am.”

    Customer: *slams my book on the counter* “This is the worst service I’ve EVER gotten! I’m NEVER coming back here!” *runs out*

    Employee: *to me* “I’m so sorry about that. If your book was harmed in any way, please let me know and I’ll reserve a new one for you.”

    Me: *laughing* “Thanks, but it’s fine. Great service though!”

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