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    The Diva Is Always Right

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

    (At the hotel where I work, we’ve had an influx of stolen credit cards and IDs recently. So, my manager is very strict about only allowing valid state issued ID. A guest calls in one night.)

    Guest: “I’m over here at [another hotel chain]. I just flew in from Spain, but my purse got stolen and this jacka*** won’t let me get a room! I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a millionaire. Can I check in at your hotel instead?”

    Me: “Not without a valid state issued ID, ma’am.”

    Guest: “Oh, so I guess I’m going to have to buy your hotel as well?! You’d better watch out, b****, because I’m going to buy your hotel! You’ve just pissed off THE DIVA! You’ve just been DIVAFIED!” *hangs up*

    No Vocation For Location, Part 3

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Geography

    (I work in a mall on the Las Vegas Strip, so there’s always a lot of people from other countries in the store.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where [store] is?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I do not know where that store is. However, if you go outside our store, there’s a directory right there.”

    Customer: “No! You do not understand. Where is this store?!”

    Me: “I can’t go out there with you to look, but I promise if it’s in the mall, it’s on that map.”

    Customer: “I already looked at the map! It just gave me a number! What is this number supposed to tell me!?”

    Me: “Well, the number corresponds—”

    Customer: “I’M FROM THE UK! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR MAPS!”

    Me: “I can maybe ask—”

    Customer: *storms out of the store in a rage before I can finish*

    Another Customer: “I’m from the UK, and I was able to read your map just fine!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 2
    No Vocation For Location

    Armed To The Pants

    Equality Is Worth Fighting For

    | USA | Bigotry

    (One of my supervisors is an attractive, rather petite girl and fragile-looking, but at heart she’s a big tomboy and much stronger than she looks. She comes into to work one day with her hand bandaged and splinted, and it’s pretty obvious she did it herself. I’m helping a customer in her 40s with art supplies, which is not my area of expertise.)

    Customer: *pointing at my supervisor* “What happened to her hand?”

    Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. She just started her shift so I haven’t had time to ask her. Is there anything else I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Do you think her boyfriend did that to her?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: *to my supervisor* “Oh, honey! What happened to your hand?!”

    Supervisor: “Oh, it’s nothing serious. I’ll be fine.”

    Customer: “Did your boyfriend do that?”

    Supervisor: “No.”

    Customer: “How’d it happen?”

    Supervisor: *awkward smile* “Umm…well, the short version is a guy hit me in a bar, and I hit him back…but I didn’t brace my wrist correctly.”

    Me: “Oh, man, OW! You got a boxer’s fracture?”

    Supervisor: “Yeah. I’ll be fine, though. The worst part was having to play piano with this splinted this morning.”

    Customer: *horrified* “You didn’t let your boyfriend defend you?!”

    Supervisor: *frowning* “I’m not seeing anyone, and even if I was, I was closer.”

    Customer: “But you’re a girl!”

    Supervisor: *trying to change the subject* “Ma’am, have you found all the art supplies you need today?”

    Customer: “REAL GIRLS LET MEN DEFEND THEM!”

    Have You Seen This Movie?

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