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Introducing Not Always Right: Unfiltered!

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Warning: Not Always Right: Unfiltered posts are unedited and may contain offensive content unsuitable for minors and sensitive readers.

(A new coworker has just started at her job. She seems really nice and normal. I have green/blue eyes.)

Coworker: “Do you wear coloured contacts?”

Me: “No, this is my natural colour.”

(Suddenly, she grabs my arm.)

Coworker: “I REALLY WANT YOUR EYES.”

(She was completely serious: she continued to stare at me for a few seconds before wandering off.)

(I drive a truck, and my nephew is accompanying me. My nephew is still in a car seat, and the law states that it is illegal to have a car-seat in a seat with an air-bag.)

Me: “All buckled up! Alright, let’s get going.”

(She gets all strapped in herself, then realizes she has left the passenger air bags on.)

Me: “Oh, shoot!”

Nephew: “What’s the matter?”

Me: *having trouble with the part that turns off the airbags* “I forgot to turn the airbag off.”

Nephew: “What’s an airbag?”

(She finally turns it off.)

Me: “Well, if we get into an accident, it’s kind of like a big balloon that stops you from moving.”

Nephew: “Oh, so you don’t want me to have that?”

Me: “No, it’s not that. It’s against the law to have it on with you in the truck.”

Nephew: “Oh, so no one wants me to be safe in the car?”

(He begins to tear up and sniffle.)

Me: “You are right. What am I thinking?”

(I pretend to fiddle around with the dashboard.)

Me: “There we go, all turned back on.”

Nephew: “Yay! You do love me!”

(A couple and their 5-year-old child comes into my 20 items or less lane. However, they have a large, overflowing cart with clearly more than 20 items.)

Me: “Hi, I’m sorry but are you aware this lane is 20 items or less?”

Customer: “Does it matter? Take care of us!”

(The customer starts unloading her items on the tiny counter. Meanwhile, her child is standing in the cart and starts throwing things.)

Me: *to the customer’s child* “Alright, sweetie, please don’t throw things.”

Customer: “Excuse me? Don’t you dare tell my kid what to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, he’s throwing things. He could hurt—”

(At this point the kid hefts up a very large can of broth and throws it at me, hitting me in the face.)

Customer’s Child: *laughs*

Customer: “Oh! Isn’t he cute?! Good job sweetie! We don’t treat these people nice. It’s good to learn early to make them shut up!”

(Another cashier took over for me so I could attend to my injuries, but before security could get there they had left the store. Thankfully nothing was broken, but I had a pretty bashed up looking face for a while!)

(There is a huge sign advertising my favorite gum for 2 for $2.22. I grab two packs and head to the register, where the cashier rings me up for full price.)

Me: “Hey, I thought that gum was on sale for 2 for $2.22.”

Cashier: “That’s not right.”

Me: “What about the huge sign that says ‘2 for $2.22’?”

Cashier: “That was last month.”

Me: *points to the huge sign that says ‘2 for $2.22’*

(Without a word, the cashier walks across to the sign and rips it down.)

Cashier: “There! No more 2 for $2.22!”