(A couple and their 5-year-old child comes into my 20 items or less lane. However, they have a large, overflowing cart with clearly more than 20 items.)

Me: “Hi, I’m sorry but are you aware this lane is 20 items or less?”

Customer: “Does it matter? Take care of us!”

(The customer starts unloading her items on the tiny counter. Meanwhile, her child is standing in the cart and starts throwing things.)

Me: *to the customer’s child* “Alright, sweetie, please don’t throw things.”

Customer: “Excuse me? Don’t you dare tell my kid what to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, he’s throwing things. He could hurt—”

(At this point the kid hefts up a very large can of broth and throws it at me, hitting me in the face.)

Customer’s Child: *laughs*

Customer: “Oh! Isn’t he cute?! Good job sweetie! We don’t treat these people nice. It’s good to learn early to make them shut up!”

(Another cashier took over for me so I could attend to my injuries, but before security could get there they had left the store. Thankfully nothing was broken, but I had a pretty bashed up looking face for a while!)

(A man approaches me while I’m at my register.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “What does ‘boof’ mean?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “‘Boof.’ You guys have a bumper sticker that says ‘boof.'”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no idea what ‘boof’ means.”

Customer: “The sticker is just dumb. It says, ‘My dog is my ‘boof.'”

Me: “Oh! ‘My dog is my BFF!'”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

Me: “It’s an abbreviation, sir. It means ‘best friends forever.'”

Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. How stupid do you have to be to have a dog as your best friend?!”

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(I’m working at a fast food restaurant when a man suddenly storms up to the counter, completely ignores the woman whose order I’m taking, and starts screaming obscenities at me.)

Customer: “All you f***ing losers can go straight to h***!”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Every time I come here, it happens! You always get it wrong! I ordered this burger without tomato, and look at this! There’s a d*** tomato on it!”

(He shoves the burger under my nose. I glance down and see that the burger isn’t ours, but our competitor’s, from across the street.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you ordered this at [competitor restaurant] across the way. You need to complain to them.”

Customer: “I know what I’m talking about! I’m not a f***ing r*****!”

(Suddenly, the other customer he cut in front of slaps him on the backside of the head. Note that the other customer is a woman and can’t be more than five feet tall and a hundred pounds.)

Customer: “What the f***?!”

Other Customer: “You deserved that. You’re being stupid. Get the h*** out of here!”

Customer: “You telling me what to do, b****?!”

(She slaps him again, this time on the face.)

Other Customer: “Now, have you learned your lesson?”

Customer: *suddenly meek* “Yes, ma’am.”

Other Customer: “Good. Apologize.”

Customer: “I’m… I’m sorry. I must’ve went to the wrong place.”

(Dazed, the customer wanders out of the restaurant, leaving his burger behind. I gave the woman her meal for free!)

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Warning: Not Always Right: Unfiltered posts are unedited and may contain offensive content unsuitable for minors and sensitive readers.

(A new coworker has just started at her job. She seems really nice and normal. I have green/blue eyes.)

Coworker: “Do you wear coloured contacts?”

Me: “No, this is my natural colour.”

(Suddenly, she grabs my arm.)

Coworker: “I REALLY WANT YOUR EYES.”

(She was completely serious: she continued to stare at me for a few seconds before wandering off.)