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    Archive for 2012

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    The Customer’s New Clothes

    | AZ, USA |

    (I overhear a conversation between a customer and his wife as they are browsing around.)

    Wife: “So, do you see anything you like?”

    Husband: “No, not really.”

    Wife: “Nothing? Why not?”

    Husband: “Because I don’t wear clothes!”

    Try Wallmart, Part 2

    | New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling Borders. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m redoing my kitchen right now and I could use some help. I’ve got all the counters and the floors and the cabinets planned, but I can’t decide what to do with the walls. I was thinking some kind of trim would be nice.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: *silent*

    Me: “Sorry, what are you looking for?”

    Caller: “Just trying to figure out what you offer.”

    Me: “Uh, well, I can do a quick search on home renovation or decorating and see what we have?”

    Caller: “Don’t you have samples or something?”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: *sighs loudly* “SAMPLES. Can you come over and bring me some samples?”

    Me: “…What?”

    Caller: “Oh, good God. Samples, honey! SAM-PLES. They come in a big binder? Show all your different kinds of wallpaper?”

    Me: “You know you’ve called Borders, yes?”

    Caller: “Of course!”

    Me: “…and you know Borders is a bookstore?”

    Caller: “No. It’s a wallpaper company.”

    Me: “It’s not; it’s a bookstore. We sell books.”

    Caller: “ONLY books?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Caller: “Well, then why the h*** did you name it Borders? It sounds like you do wallpaper borders and trims and things!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you want me to look up a book on wallpaper for you?”

    Caller: “Can you install it if I find something I like?”

    Me: “No.”

    Caller: “You’re useless!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Try Wallmart

    We Love To See You Smile

    | North Carolina, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am having a terrible day at work, and haven’t smiled once. I have just finished ringing up an older couple’s order.)

    Me: “Have a good day.”

    Older Customer: “Do you have any paper?”

    (I give the customer some receipt paper. He gets a pen, quickly scribbles something on the paper, and hands it to me.)

    Older Customer: “Everyone deserves to smile.”

    (The customer then walked away. I looked at it and he had drawn me a flower. I still have it. :) )

    Would You Like That For Her Or To Go

    , | Lindale, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (I am in drive-thru, using a head set to communicate with customers. A male customer pulls up.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “I’m doing well! How are you tonight?”

    Me: “I’m good! What can I get for you?”

    (The customer places his order, but has a question that I am unable to answer. So, my manager speaks into the headset to answer him.)

    Customer: “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL?!”

    Manager: “Sir, you’ll see her at the window.”

    Customer: “WELL, BUTT OUT OF OUR CONVERSATION!”

    (The customer pulls up to window.)

    Customer: “TELL YOUR BOSS TO LEAVE US ALONE!” *glares at the window*

    Me: “Um, yes sir…”

    My Head Megahertz, Part 2

    | Kansas, USA | Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to buy one of your trigabit hard drives.”

    Me: “Did you mean terabyte? We have a few right over here.”

    Customer: “No! I want a trigabit hard drive. Don’t tell me you don’t have one!”

    Me: “How much are you trying to store on this drive?”

    Customer: “Some family photos.”

    Me: “Around how many?”

    Customer: “Probably around 100. My son is very smart with computers and he said I would need at least a trigabyte!”

    Me: “Well, this 500 gigabyte hard drive will have more than enough space.”

    Customer: “You are frauds! I am never shopping here again!” *storms out*

    Related:
    My Head Megahertz

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