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    Archive for 2012

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    The Time Traveler’s Strife

    | Provo, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. This is [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to order 20 copies of [title].”

    (I look it up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

    Customer: “It can’t be out of print! I have a copy of it right here in my hand!”

    Would You Like Brains With That

    , | England, UK | Food & Drink

    (Our store usually sells side orders with several meals: three hot and one cold. One night, both of our microwaves have broken so we can only offer coleslaw.)

    Me: “Unfortunately all our hot sides are gone today. I’m afraid I can only offer you coleslaw or extra fries as options.”

    Customer: “Can I swap the coleslaw for a gravy?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not; all our hot sides are unavailable. Are you okay with coleslaw or extra fries?”

    Customer: “Oh, no hot sides…can I have beans, then?”

    Me: “No. Sorry, as I mentioned you can only choose from coleslaw or extra fries. So, which would you like?”

    Customer: “I don’t really like coleslaw or fries…can I have a corn instead?”

    Me: “Um, no, you can’t. As I’ve already explained, we don’t have any hot side orders: just coleslaw or extra fries today. I’m sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Well, you should have said something, then!”

    Messy Customers

    Serving Your Pie And Eating It Too

    | Ohio, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Three teenagers come into the restaurant where I work.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “Okay, so we’ll have three large fountain drinks, six orders of fries, three cookies, and one large pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    (They pay and sit down at a table together with their order. Much to my surprise, Teenage Girl #2 and Teenage Boy get out their own packed lunches and put them in the middle of table to share. They all eat, everyone having a bit of everything. As I sit down at a nearby table for my break, I overhear them talking.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Okay, so maybe ordering a large pizza WASN’T the greatest idea.”

    Teenage Boy: “It was the extra fries that did it for me.’

    Teenage Girl #1: “So what do we do with the extra pizza?

    Teenage Girl #2: “The box is too big for us to lug it around.”

    Teenage Boy: “Well, crap. We just wasted some money.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Wait, I have an idea!”

    (She gets up, takes the box, and walks over to me while her friends watch on in confusion.)

    Teenage Girl #2: “Do you like pepperoni pizza?”

    Me: “Um, yeah?”

    (Without another word, she drops the box in front of me and walks away. She and her friends leave the restaurant before I get a chance to say thank you. For the record, the pizza was delicious!)

    How About A Chia Pet Instead, Part 2

    | Louisiana, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I am bagging some fish for a customer who is setting up a new tank.)

    Me: “Alright, here are your fish. If you’d like to follow me, I can show you where the fish food is.”

    Customer: “Fish food? You mean I have to feed them?”

    Me: “Well, yes, unless you want them to die.”

    Customer: “But I don’t have time to feed any pets. Don’t you have an animal I don’t have to feed?”

    Related:
    How About A Chia Pet Instead


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