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    Archive for 2012

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    That’s Not What They Meant

    Indiscriminate Discrimi-Nation

    | Chicago, USA | Bigotry

    (I work in a call center as a supervisor. I overhear this conversation.)

    Representative: “Thank you for holding. This is [Pakistani name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, what is your name?”

    Representative: “[Pakistani name], sir.”

    Customer: “Where are you located?”

    Representative: “In Chicago, sir.”

    Customer: “Are you sure you’re not in India? You sound like you’re Indian.”

    (Note: the rep was born and raised in Chicago and is the son of an English father and Pakistani mother. He has no accent whatsoever.)

    Representative: “Sir, I am certain we are in Chicago.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to an American! I don’t want to talk to someone in India.”

    Representative: “Sir, I was born and raised in the US. My parents are English and Pakistani, not Indian.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to someone in America!”

    Representative: “Sir, again I can assure you: you are talking to an American in America.”

    Customer: “I WANT TO TALK TO AN AMERICAN!”

    Representative: “Sir, I am an American.”

    Customer: “I know you people are in India! I’m complaining to my company that they outsourced us to you!” *hangs up*

    D-Eye-Y

    | New Zealand | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am currently going through medical school and working at a nearby hardware store part-time to help pay the bills. As part of study, students have been given internships at various local hospitals. Note: New Zealanders pride themselves on their DIY skills.)

    Customer: “Hey mate, I need some stuff to build a deck. Can ya help me find it?”

    Me: “Certainly, what were you after?”

    (As per our instruction, after recommending the tools and materials the customer would need, I am required to point out various safety gear as well. All has been going great so far…)

    Me: “May I also recommend that you grab some safety glasses? They could save you a lot of trouble if things happen to go wrong.”

    Customer: *suddenly hostile* “Look, mate, I don’t need any of this s***! I know how it needs to be done. Any real man does! If you were a real man, you’d know too. I ain’t paying for any s*** I don’t need!”

    (He eventually leaves, but not before complaining to customer service about me. Three days later while working at the hospital as a medical student, I take the same customer’s history. The reason: he had a splinter lodged in the side of his eye. I wish I was making this up!)

    No Need To Drive This Deal Home

    | Illinois, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Top

    (I have just brought a middle-aged couple back from a test drive. We are going over the price of the car.)

    Me: “With your trade and money down, we’re looking at about $400 per month for the base model, and $440 per month fully-loaded.”

    Husband: “But we only wanted to spend $500 to $550 or more per month!”

    Me: “…Excuse me?”

    Wife: “Like he said, we’re looking to spend no more than $550.”

    Me: “Well, yes. Even if you get the fully loaded model, it’s far under $500 per month.”

    Husband: “NO! What part of ‘$500 per month’ don’t you understand?”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir. I definitely think we can make the numbers work for you at $500 per.”

    Wife: “Much better. We’ll take it, then!”

    Disin-jean-ous Or Just Un-capris-hending

    | Sydney, Australia |

    Customer: “Can you tell me if this pair of pants is discounted?”

    (I scan the pants.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but these are full price.”

    Customer: “But that sign says, ’40% Off Jackets and Vests’!” *looks at me expectantly*

    Me: “Yes, I can see that.”

    Customer: “Then these pants must be 40% off!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s 40% off jackets and vests.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Pants aren’t jackets nor vests.”

    Customer: “Really?!” *walks away, perplexed*

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