Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,796 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2012

    Jump to page:

    Clueless

    That’s What They All Say

    Your Argument Just Went Up In Smoke

    | BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (A young man walks into store, grabs two energy drinks, and then comes to the till to pay. As he’s paying, a middle-aged customer comes into the store.)

    Middle-aged Customer: “I can’t believe they haven’t banned those energy drinks yet! They’re so bad for you. Some kid down in the States died from them!”

    Young Customer: *finishes paying and leaves*

    Middle-aged Customer: “I’ll have two packs of cigarettes, please.”

    Greeting Sheldon Cooper

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Bizarre

    (I am greeting customers by the front entrance when an elderly man enters with his middle-aged daughter.)

    Me: “How’s it going today, sir?”

    Customer: “Well, that entirely depends on what you mean by ‘it,’ doesn’t it?”

    Me: “Um, well—”

    Customer: “If by ‘it’ you mean to ask how I’m doing, well, my back is very bad today. I’ve had several surgeries on it and it is still remarkably painful.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that—”

    Customer: “On the other hand, perhaps ‘it’ is a vague reference to the general state of things in this country. If that is, in fact, the case, I should point out that the current economic climate—”

    Customer’s Daughter: “What he means to say is that he’s fine. Thanks for asking!” *mouths to me when he’s not looking* “I’m sorry!”

    Related:
    Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 8 (Not Always Romantic)

    His Plan Is In The Toilet

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (I work in a movie theater that is inside a mall. Sometimes, the mall closes their restrooms so they use our restrooms instead.)

    Customer: “Can I use your bathroom?”

    Me: “Sure, they are right over there.” *points to restrooms*

    Customer: *walks past where I point*

    Me: “Sir, you walked past the restrooms.”

    Customer: “Well, I was going to use the ones in the back.”

    (I realize he’s just trying to sneak into a movie.)

    Me: “Well, the restrooms in the front are just as good as the ones in the back.”

    (The customer groans and walks into the restroom, but leaves only after a few seconds.)

    Customer: “F*** you, p****!”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir!”


    Page 263/457First...261262263264265...Last