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    Weekly Roundup: Lost & Confused

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Geography, Roundups

    Lost & Confused: This week, we feature five stories of customers who are “geographically disadvantaged!”

    1. For The Love Of God, Get GPS:
      An employee serves as a human GPS for one completely lost customer!
    2. More Cars Than Common Sense:
      A couple thinks they lost their car, when they’ve really lost their minds.
    3. For The Love Of God, Get GPS, Part 2:
      This confused hotel guest puts the “duh” in Cana-duh!
    4. At The Corner Of Me & Myself:
      We need more than your living room to locate you, sir.
    5. The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4:
      An airline passenger ends up in New Orleans, LA–Los Angeles, that is!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

    | Kingston, Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Time

    (I am working on box office one night. It’s soon after the release of the newest Twilight. Two teenage girls are at my cash purchasing tickets to see the movie.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “So, you have Twilight at 6:30 and 6:50?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Teenage Girl #1: “That doesn’t make sense! It isn’t 20 minutes long!”

    Me: “It’s in two different theaters.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Oh right! Duh!”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Not Lacking For Laxatives

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “**** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I gotta question for you: I drank a whole thing of prune juice like water, and now I’m s***ing my brains out.”

    Me: “Okay, and what did you need to know?”

    Customer: “Is your generic of ducolax the same thing?”

    Me: “Yes. Same thing.”

    Customer: “Okay, good, because I’m gonna need a plug soon or something!”

    D As In Duh, Part 2

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Language & Words

    Me: “You’ll also want to check out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid.  You can apply for that online if you have internet connection.”

    Caller: “I do. What’s the URL?”

    Me: “All right. It’s www dot ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ ‘A’…”

    Caller: “Sorry, how do you spell that?”

    Me: *confused* “…How do you spell what?”

    Caller: “Effasinfrank.”

    Related:
    D As In Duh

    Two Oblongs Don’t Make A Right

    , | Minnesota, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I’m working the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

    Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

    Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

    (The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

    Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

    Also seen on Not Always Working.

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