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    Archive for 2012

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    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

    | Kingston, Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Time

    (I am working on box office one night. It’s soon after the release of the newest Twilight. Two teenage girls are at my cash purchasing tickets to see the movie.)

    Teenage Girl #1: “So, you have Twilight at 6:30 and 6:50?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Teenage Girl #1: “That doesn’t make sense! It isn’t 20 minutes long!”

    Me: “It’s in two different theaters.”

    Teenage Girl #2: “Oh right! Duh!”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Not Lacking For Laxatives

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “**** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I gotta question for you: I drank a whole thing of prune juice like water, and now I’m s***ing my brains out.”

    Me: “Okay, and what did you need to know?”

    Customer: “Is your generic of ducolax the same thing?”

    Me: “Yes. Same thing.”

    Customer: “Okay, good, because I’m gonna need a plug soon or something!”

    D As In Duh, Part 2

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Language & Words

    Me: “You’ll also want to check out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid.  You can apply for that online if you have internet connection.”

    Caller: “I do. What’s the URL?”

    Me: “All right. It’s www dot ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ ‘A’…”

    Caller: “Sorry, how do you spell that?”

    Me: *confused* “…How do you spell what?”

    Caller: “Effasinfrank.”

    Related:
    D As In Duh

    Two Oblongs Don’t Make A Right

    , | Minnesota, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I’m working the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

    Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

    Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

    (The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

    Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

    Also seen on Not Always Working.

    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 3

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “I want you to take these two pages, which are one-sided, and make me copies that come out two-sided. But print a test copy of it first so I can see it.”

    (I print the requested double-sided copy and hand it to the customer. He stares at it for several seconds in silence.)

    Customer: “Well, that’s great and all, but what about the other side?”

    Me: “Uh, turn the paper over?”

    Customer: “OH!”

    Related:
    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2
    Adventures In The Third Dimension

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