(An older customer approaches my counter and pays for a book.)
Me: “Would you like me to wrap it up for you?”
Customer: “Well, yes, if you really want to.”
Me: “I would be glad to do that for you!” *wraps the book for him*
Customer: “Thanks for the gift, dear!” *immediately unwraps the book and leaves the store*
(My mom has been keeping toys that my siblings and I have had over the years in boxes labelled ‘for future grandkids’. When I was told that it wasn’t medically safe for me to have kids, she was really disappointed and apparently the idea of adoption never occurred to her. I’ve had a great big cat for years and he acts like a baby, so we like to joke that he’s the closest she’ll get to a grandbaby from me. We have relatives visiting from out of the country.)
Me: *cradling the cat* “Here’s the little man.”
Mom: “Ah, my little grandchild!”
Cousin: *to my mom* “I bet you can’t wait for human grandchildren, can you?”
Mom: “Well, I might get them from [sibling’s names], but not her.”
Me: *dryly* “Hello, mom! I can still adopt.”
Mom: “Well those wouldn’t be my real grandchildren, not like him.” *scratches the cat’s ears*
Me: “Mom, he’s a cat. If I gave birth to a cat I’d have a television show.”
(I was working at a hotel my last semester of college and was promoted to supervisor soon after graduating. A coworker who is male and I, a female, are checking an elderly couple in one afternoon.)
Coworker: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
Elderly Couple: “Yes, can we get some help with our luggage?”
Coworker: “I’m sorry, but the bellman just left to take some people to the airport, but he will be back in 20 or 30 minutes.”
Elderly Couple: “Well, can you help us?”
Coworker: “No, that’s beneath me.”
Elderly Couple: *shocked silence*
Me: *to the elderly couple* “Folks, as soon as I finish checking in this guest, I’d be happy to assist you with your bags.”
Coworker: *gives me a dirty look*
(After helping the couple with their bags, they give me a $10 tip. I walk back to the lobby and wave the bill at my coworker.)
Me: “Don’t ever say that again. If you don’t want to help someone with their bags, say you’re unable to then ask someone else to help them.”
Coworker: *walks away in a huff*
(I walk over to the bellman’s stand and put the tip in his drawer, since the bellman work almost solely off of tips, then return to my counter. After coming back from lunch, my coworker goes over to the bellman at his stand.)
Coworker: *to the bellman* “Aren’t we not supposed to help anyone with their stuff and tell them to wait for you to get back?”
Bellman: “Yes, why?”
Coworker: “Because she took someone’s luggage up for them while you were gone!”
Bellman: “Oh, I wondered where this $10 came from. Thanks, [my name]!”
Coworker: *walks away in a huff*
Bellman: *to me* “And that is why you got promoted to supervisor and he never will be.”
(A coworker and I are planning a non-profit conference.)
Coworker: “Why are we charging $22? That doesn’t make sense. $25 is easier to remember.
Me: “We’re only charging to cover costs. We’re not trying to turn a profit.”
Coworker: “Yeah, but nobody ever budgets for $22. $25 is an even number.”
Me: “$25 is an odd number.”
Coworker: “I mean, it’s a nice, round number that’s easy to work with.”
Me: “Actually it’s a square number.”
Coworker: “Stop that!”
(A customer in her late 60s walks up with her granddaughter, who is probably 18-20 in age.)
Customer: “I want to return this crap!”
Me: “Alright, ma’am, do you have your receipt?”
Customer: “No, but you’d better take it back!”
(I page a manager to approve a no-receipt return. It gets approved and we explain it’ll have to go on a store gift card. The customer is still angry, but the granddaughter helps us calm her down.)
Me: “Alright, ma’am, here’s your gift card. There’s $24.83 on it.”
(The customer snatches the card from my hands. Meanwhile, she watches the POS terminal like a hawk to see how things add up.)
Customer: “NO, NO, NO! That was buy one, get one free!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am let me have someone check…”
(As I page for someone on the floor to price check, I see a line of angry people forming behind her. We’re an insanely busy store in the summer, and it’s been a good ten minutes by this point. My coworker returns from checking the price.)
Coworker: “It has no tag, or none near it. Where did you see buy one, get one free, ma’am?”
Customer: “A couple weeks ago! It was buy one, get one free!”
Me: “Ma’am, we can’t price modify for a sale a couple weeks old.”
Customer: “You can and you will. Let me speak to your manager!”
(I page the manager again, and they approve the modification while giving me a “Get this crazy customer out of our store” look).
Me: “Alright ma’am, I’ve run your gift card. That leaves $10.21 remaining on your total.”
Customer: “I should get it free for all the hassle you people put me through here!”
(The customer throws a 20 at me. I make change and she storms off, with the total transaction time about 16 minutes. Next up is her granddaughter, who is calm and polite. She puts her nail polish on the counter and I ring her up. Whole transaction time? 20 seconds.)
Me: “Have a nice day!”
Customer’s Granddaughter: “You too!”
Customer: *to her granddaughter* “Danielle, are you FINALLY done?! What took you so long?! I swear, you young people are SO inconsiderate, like that idiot behind the counter!”
