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    Employees Are Sharper Than You Think

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (Pharmacy law in Utah says that it’s up to the pharmacist’s discretion if they want to sell insulin needles/syringes without a prescription. Our store has the policy that the patient either has to have a prescription for the syringes or for an injectable medication on file.)

    Customer: “I need to get some syringes.”

    Me: “Okay, I need your name so I can look up the prescription.”

    Customer: “Actually, they’re not for me. They’re for my mom.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”

    Customer: “Well, not my mom. My best friend’s mom who’s like a mom to me.”

    Me: “What’s her name?”

    Customer: “Actually, it’s for her dog.”

    Me: “What’s the dog’s name?”

    Customer: “I…don’t know.”

    Me: “Then I’m not selling you any syringes.”

    Customer: *walks away in defeat*

    Intolerable Intolerance

    | California, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I am working as a barista when two young men walk into the shop, holding hands and laughing. They order their coffee and sit down at one of the tables, but about fifteen minutes in a middle-aged man approaches the two of them.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but are you two together?”

    Young Customers: *nodding in unison*

    Customer: “Could you switch tables, then? You’re making my wife and me uncomfortable.”

    Young Customer #1: “I don’t think we’re actually doing anything wrong, are we?”

    Customer: “Well, we don’t want to look at it! We don’t believe in being—”

    (Suddenly, the young man leans across the table to give his partner a fairly chaste peck on the lips.)

    Young Customer #2: “Personally, I don’t believe in being a self-righteous prick, but I don’t ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “This is an outrage!

    (The customer storms back to his table and grabs his wife by the wrist.)

    Customer: *to his wife* “Come on, we’re leaving!”

    (After the middle-aged couple left, everyone else in the coffee shop stared with wide eyes for a moment, shocked at what had just occurred. Slowly, though, some of the surrounding tables began clapping, until the entire coffee shop was filled with applause.)

    The Customer is Always…

    Taking Advantage

    Avoid This Customer Like The Plague

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a large pet supply store which also sells pet rodents and rabbits. My job includes offering advice and info to those who want to buy a pet.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, are these a kind of hamster?”

    Me: “No sir, those are rats.”

    Customer: “Wild rats?! Are you sure they’re not a kind of long-tailed hamster?”

    Me: “They’re definitely rats. They’re not wild; they’re domestic. They’re also known as ‘fancy rats’.”

    Customer: “Okay, so do they carry the plague, too?”

    (I’m used to this question. It’s always been asked jokingly, so I chuckle.)

    Me: “Nope, no plague. Rats are very clean pets and are actually cleaner than your average pet dog or cat.”

    Customer: “I don’t want disease in my house. Are you sure these aren’t carrying plague?”

    (I realise he is totally serious.)

    Me: “I assure you, these rats are perfectly safe to own.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you! How do you know?”

    Me: “I actually own several rats and they make really lovely pets. They’re very clever and affectionate.”

    (Suddenly, he becomes very agitated and backs away from me. He covers his mouth by lifting his t-shirt over it, simultaneously revealing an obscene and racist tattoo on his stomach.)

    Me: “Sir, I need you to lower your shirt please…right now.”

    Customer: *loudly so everyone in the store can hear* “She has plague rats in her house! Stay away from her! Oh my God, what the f*** is wrong with you?! Do you want people to get ill?! I’ll kick your a** in for trying to make me ill!”

    (At this point, two burly male colleagues of mine come running from other aisles to help. They make the customer put his shirt back down and try to escort him out of the shop, but he struggles like mad in his bid to ‘warn’ everyone. They have trouble restraining him, despite their height and strength.)

    Customer: “She’s diseased for God’s sake! She has plague rats!”

    (One of my coworkers who has been escorting him out decides he’s had enough and speaks up.)

    Male Coworker #1: “I keep rats too, mate. Now, get out in case I give you the plague too! Don’t come back, either—the plague might be in the air!”

    (At this, the customer freezes and then bolts screaming from the shop. The other customers applaud my coworkers, I get an extra 10 minute break and three nice people gave homes to pairs of rats after wanting to find out more about them!)


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