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    Archive for 2012

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    Another Cheap Customer, Part 2

    Trust Us, There Are Far Worse

    | Brisbane, Qld, Australia | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Um, I’d like the…is the teriyaki good?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s one of our most popular subs.”

    Customer: “Okay, a teriyaki chicken sub on…Italian Herbs & Spices?”

    Me: “Italian Herb & Cheese? No problem.”

    Customer: “Yes, sorry. Uh, not toasted. Can I have that dark orange cheese?”

    Me: “The old english? Sure. Which salad would you like?”

    Customer: “Um…Lettuce, tomato…cucumber, carrot…ooh, and just a little bit of onion.”

    Me: “Of course. Would you like the Sweet Onion sauce?”

    Customer: “Is that good with that?”

    Me: “It’s the recommended sauce, yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Yes please. Boy, I bet I’m just the worst customer!”

    Me: “Not. Even. Close.”

    Without Money, You’re Just Funny

    | South Dakota, USA | Money

    (I work at the customer service counter at a grocery chain. We sell tickets for the state lotteries. A disheveled-looking gentleman approaches the counter and buys a ticket.)

    Customer: “What’s the [lottery name] up to?”

    Me: “The current jackpot is [amount].”

    Customer: “That’d be kind of nice, you know. I’d be eccentric if I had that much money. Right now, I’m just weird!”

    Some Customers Are Out Of Line

    | Canandaigua, NY, USA | At The Checkout

    (We have a customer who occasionally comes in who is in a wheelchair. So, to make things easy, he just calls us when he’s in the parking lot and asks for assistance. We come out and take care of getting movies for him. This happens right after I come back in to grab him a movie, and hop back on the register. There is one other person in line.)

    Customer: “This is absolute bulls***. Why can’t he just get out of his car like everyone else?!”

    Me: “Sorry, guys, but he’s a paraplegic and this would just make things easier on him.”

    Customer: “That’s no excuse! He should come in like the rest of us! I want you to take care of me now. I was first in line!”

    Me: “With all due respect, no, you weren’t. He called long before you got up to the register, and I’m not gonna make him get out of his car and potentially hurt himself to save you an extra 20 seconds. I will be with you in a second.”

    Customer: *shuts up*

    This Trip Is Not Going To Pan-ama Out

    | Texas, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “I’ve never taken a cruise before, but I really want to try one.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help you plan your first cruise. Where would you like to visit?”

    Customer: “I’m thinking a short, roundtrip, tropical cruise, to either the Bahamas or the Caribbean.”

    Me: “Sounds great! We offer a wide variety of roundtrip Bahamas and Caribbean cruises. Which departure port do you have in mind?”

    Customer: “Vancouver.”

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