(At the gas station where I work, a bunch of young, smart-mouthed customers are holding up the line, talking about how f***ed up they’re going to get that night. I call several times but they’re too busy goofing off to notice. Eventually, a large, 6’6″ and ripped middle-aged gentleman who is also waiting taps one of the young customers on his shoulder. The young customer almost mouths off to the large gentleman, but thinks better of it and turns to me.)

Young Customer: “Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “I’m gonna need to see your ID.”

Young Customer: “I’m gonna need to see YOUR ID!”

(I immediately pull out my wallet and flip it open so it’s showing my ID.)

Me: “Still gonna need to see your ID.”

Young Customer: “Look, a**hole! I’m old enough to buy alcohol and you will sell me—”

(At this moment, the large and ripped gentleman who has been patiently waiting behind walks up, pushes the smart-mouthed customer out of the way, and puts his stuff down.)

Gentleman: “Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes?’

Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

Gentleman: *to the young customer* “THAT’S how easy it is for adults. Maybe you’ll get there someday.”

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

Customer: “I want a bag of Malteasers.”

Me: “Sure, just a moment…”

(I reach under the counter and take a bag of Malteasers from the drawer.)

Me: “That’s $5.50.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want those!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Those ones you keep below the counter are all crushed up together! ”

(She bangs the bag up and down on the counter. If they weren’t before, they’re probably a bit crushed now.)

Me: “They felt fine when I took them out, but I can get you another.”

Customer: “I want those ones!”

(The customer points to the wall behind me. We hang some expired stock there just to show what we have available.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s just for display. It’s expired stock.”

Customer: “I don’t care. I want one of those.”

Me: “Uh, okay.”

(I reach for a nearby bag on the wall.)

Customer: “No, not that one! I want one of the ones up there. Right up the top!”

Me: “Those are under the lights. They’ve probably melted.”

Customer: “One of those!”

Me: “Okay…”

(I scramble onto the counter behind me and take down one of the expired, partially melted bags at the top of the wall.)

Me: “That’s $5.50.”

Customer: “THANK YOU!”

(After visiting an out-of-state friend, I’m taking the bus back to my home. On the way back, the bus stops in Tennessee, and I take the opportunity to grab a bite to eat at the bus stations diner. Going to the counter, I realize that the current customer is really going at it with the poor girl behind the register, who seems to have some sort of mental disability, and is having a very hard time understanding the woman’s order.)

Employee: “So, that was… cheese fries and—”

Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said a hot dog. A hot dog!”

Employee: “Yes, a hot dog, ma’am. Are you still wanting the cheese fries that you—”

Customer: “Why the f*** do you keep bringing up cheese fries! I never f***ing said anything about cheese fries!”

(The poor employee looks close to tears at this point, and people surrounding the counter are starting to stare.)

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, I understand. I’m sorry for my misunderstanding.”

Customer: *sighs* “Honestly, the standards of these places…”

(The customer steps to the side, muttering to herself, and I place my order. I speak calmly and make sure to apologize for how the previous customer has treated the employee. While I’m still waiting for my food, the annoyed customer’s meal comes up. Coming back to the counter, she takes one look and it’s obvious something is wrong.)

Customer: “Where are my godd*** cheese fries?! Are you really that stupid?!”

Employee: “Ma’am… I thought… I’ll get them for you ma’am.”

(While the customer is still waiting on the cheese fries that she clearly did not order, she turns to me to complain.)

Customer: “Can you believe these people? I’ve been on a bus for four hours and I can only be treated this well? Honestly, did you see that? Is she stupid?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I did see that, and I don’t think she’s stupid. She treated you with more respect than I think you’ve treated anyone your entire life. You’ve been on a bus for four hours? She’s been working this job, dealing with people like you for a while now. I think we know who’s better off.”

(My food comes up, and I collect it.)

Me: *to the employee* “Thank you!”

Employee: *gives me a small smile*

(After this, the customer just stood there and stared, embarrassed. Thankfully, I didn’t see her again before left. And to top it off, I got a free drink!)

(I am a customer getting my items, when, from behind me, a man around 20 to 30 years old goes up to one of the store’s employees.)

Customer: “Where the h*** do you keep your F***ING baked beans?!”

Employee: “Baked beans? Right this way, sir.”

(I am in need of baked beans myself, so I decide to follow them.)

Employee: “Here are our baked beans, sir.”

Customer: “These are NOT baked beans!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but these are baked beans.”

Customer: “No! These are TIN beans. I want baked beans!”

Employee: “Sir, the baked beans are inside the tins.”

Customer: “What? I don’t want them in a tin. I want them out of the tin!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is how baked beans are stored.”

Customer: “Baked beans don’t need to be stored!” *storms out of the store*

(I work at a major pet retail store. A customer approaches the register, talking on her cell phone, and puts a dog toy on the counter.)

Customer: “[Competitor] has this for $7.99 and you’re charging $9.99! It’s too expensive!”

Me: “I can price match it for you, ma’am—”

Customer: “You shouldn’t charge so much! It’s ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

Customer: *to her friend on the phone* “It’s so expensive here!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s only two dollars.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I don’t have two dollars. I only have a credit card.”

Me: “We take credit for any amount, ma’am.”

(The customer swipes her card, takes her purchase, and rushes off, talking to her friend on the phone.)

Customer: “Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! I just made a huge fuss and it was only two dollars!”