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    Archive for 2012

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    Fuming Over Perfuming

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (A customer enters and I walk around to greet him.)

    Me: *wiping my eyes* “Good evening!” *sniffles* “How are you?”

    Customer: “Hey don’t cry! Who did it?! Who made you cry?” *he looks around for other customers*

    Me: *smiling* “Thanks for your concern, but it’s just my allergies. I’ve had several customers who had on too much cologne or perfume.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was worried there for a minute. I thought I was going to have to kick someone’s a** for you!”

    Good Employees Can Fill In The Blanks

    | Santa Clarita, CA, USA | Family & Kids

    (It is 2000. I am working in the electronics department at a well-known chain department store, when a boy of about 13 years old walks up to my counter.)

    Boy: “Um… like, uh… do you, like, uh… have any, uh… like, uh… they’re like, um… they’re like, uh, movies… uh… but, like… they, like… they don’t… they, like, don’t have anything on them?”

    Me: *after staring for a moment* “Do you mean blank videocassettes?”

    Boy: “Yeah!”

    Waaay Lost In Translation

    | Aurora, CO, USA | Language & Words

    (It is a pretty mild day, and most everyone is buzzing about the new Ikea that has opened up the month prior. I am chatting with a particularly effervescent woman with a full cart to scan. She has asked about my studies.)

    Me: “I’m just going to school downtown. I’m studying Spanish and German.”

    Customer: “Wow! That’s impressive! Pretty and smart!”

    Me: “Oh, well thank you! I actually pick up languages easily. I’ve also studied Chinese and French, and for the past year my best friend has been teaching me Swedish.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Swedish? Ha! Like you could speak Swedish!”

    Me: “Yes, actually I can. He actually was born and raised in Stockholm… he’s still living there, actually. He’s Swedish, teaching me Swedish, so I can go to Sweden.”

    Customer: “Well, I know people who work at Ikea, and they know Swedish. So, tell me, what’s ‘Hello,’ then?”

    Me: “‘Hej,’ or ‘Hallo.’ That can be followed up with ‘Hur mår du’ and other various phrases.”

    Customer: “Ha! I knew you didn’t speak Swedish. That’s not how you say ‘Hello!’”

    Me: “Yes, it is, actually.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! My friends work at Ikea! They would know! You’re not speaking Swedish. That’s not Swedish!”

    Me: “Okay, then apparently my Swedish friend doesn’t know how to speak his native tongue. How do you say, ‘Hello’, in Swedish?”

    (The customer looks proud in her win and straightens herself.)

    Customer: “It’s f*******e.”

    (My jaw drops. The translation of this is roughly ‘c***face’.)

    Me: “Yes… yes sweetie, that’s exactly how you say that. You’re right. Have a nice day.”

    (She left looking incredibly satisfied. The moment I got off of work, I texted my friend. He and I still laugh about this over a year later.)

    December 2012 Top Story Roundup

    | Not Always Right | Roundups

    December 2012 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of December!

    1. Best Not To Exchange With Haters (4,336 thumbs up)
      A bigoted customer finds out that managers won’t exchange good employees for bad customers!
    2. The Gift Card That Keeps Giving (4,063 thumbs up)
      This heartwarming Christmas story shows that gift cards are anything but impersonal.
    3. Mama Puts A Stammer In Your Swagger (3,640 thumbs up)
      A foul-mouthed teenage customer meets his match: his mother!
    4. Working Hard: $100; Holiday Spirit: Priceless (3,613 thumbs up)
      A little old lady comes to the defense of an employee going through holiday hell.
    5. Hail To The Bus Driver (3,493 thumbs up)
      Caught in a snowstorm, off-the-clock bus driver goes above and beyond for a passenger!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Now That Is What I Call Up-Selling

    | AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Our store matches print ads for other stores in the area.)

    Customer: “These are on sale for $4.50 at [other store].”

    Me: “Ours are $3.89 for that.”

    Customer: “I insist that you ad match this for me.”

    Me: “Okay…”

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