(I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. Every few weeks, some of my senior friends like to kidnap me, feed me pixie sticks, and take me out to amuse them. This usually ends up with me forgetting everything that happened that night. The next morning he calls me to make sure I am okay.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Boyfriend: “So you survived! How was your night out?”

Me: “It was great! I had pixie sticks and we went to dinner, then I forgot what happened. But I wound up in my own bed this morning so all is well.”

Boyfriend: “That sounds nice, but you’re not allowed to go out without me anymore.”

Me: “Why not?”

Boyfriend: “Would you happen to have all your clothes on this morning?”

Me: “Huh? Why do you-” *suddenly realize I am missing my bra* “Oh, God!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, because I found your bra stapled to my door when I got up, and I thought you might want it back.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be $26.17, please.”

Customer: “Do you accept American money here?”

Me: “We sure do. And, just so you know, the exchange rate right now is even at 1.00.”

(I finish counting out the change and hand it to the customer along with her receipt.)

Me: “Your change is $23.83. Enjoy the rest of the day!”

(She stands beside my till looking confusedly at her hand for a few seconds.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: “What is this?!”

Me: “That’s your change, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why would I want this?! Why don’t I get American change back? I’m an American!”

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, you are in Canada. We don’t carry American change on the tills.”

Customer: *hesitantly* “But Canada is practically a part of the States, isn’t it?”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not. If you have any more questions, my supervisor at the service desk will be happy to help. You have a nice day.”

(She moves off to the end of my till, slowly puts away the money, and wanders off.)

Next Customer: *jokingly* “That definitely made my day. Do you get those types here often?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

(I work at a table that is set up at a farmer’s market every Sunday where I sell different deli meats. I also cater events and I am speaking to a couple in their 30s about possibly catering an engagement party. I am a caucasian female in my 20s.)

Me: “So, I can give you my business card if you’d like to discuss the options for your engagement party.”

Woman: “Sure, thanks!”

Man: “You’ve been so helpful!” *looks at name on business card* “Morgan Freeman? Are you seriously Morgan Freeman?”

Me: “Well, yes. That’s my name.”

Woman: “Are you the actor?”

Me: *laughing* “Haha, only on weekdays!”

Man: “No she’s not. What a liar! This is bulls***. You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

Woman: “Honey, it says right there on the card. So, are you the one that does all the narration? Like for the penguin movies?”

Man: “She’s a liar. We’re leaving.”

Me: “No. I’m not the African American male actor. But anyway, my email and phone number are on there for my catering business.”

Man: “Sorry, we don’t deal with liars.”

(He hauls his fiancée away.)

Woman: *turns around and literally yells* “DO YOU KNOW OPRAH?!”

(I’m working at my zoo’s snack shack. I have to clean the popcorn machine a bit before closing, or else I won’t be done by quitting time. This is approved by my supervisor.)

Woman: “Miss, I need some—oh, did you not make popcorn today?”

Me: “Well, I cleaned out the machine, but it’s bagged so they can use it for the animals tomorrow.”

Woman: “Can I still buy it?” *glances at her two very young children* “I’d have come earlier but they weren’t hungry yet. However, they are dead-set on popcorn.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s probably cold. Really cold.”

Woman: “I don’t care dear. How much? How’s five dollars?”

Me: “I really think there’s only two dollars with in the bag.”

Woman: “You get five for being so sweet!”

(I ring it up as two anyway, and let her put the change in the donation jar since we don’t take tips. The kids happily take the cold popcorn and start chowing down.)

Woman: “You’re a lifesaver, sweetie! And such good service!”

(When I take the ‘take-up’ to the gift shop, I see the woman with her kids, still eating the popcorn.)

Manager: “Good job. She’s really happy. Bought a mess of merchandise to thank us for hiring ‘such a nice girl!'”

(Both the kids hugged me on my way back out, too!)

(It is Black Friday. I am waiting with my friend in a queue that wraps all the way around the store. After 45 minutes, we are almost to the front. A nearby rack catches my eye, and since I’m not purchasing anything, I step out of line. My friend and the customer in front of her watch me hold a sweater up.)

Me: *to my friend* “Hey, do you think this sweater’s cute? It’s the last one!”

Friend: “Definitely. I’ll hold your purse while you try it on!”

(I step away to remove my purse. Suddenly, the customer who’s been watching me dashes over, rips the sweater from my hands, and tries to duck right back into line!)

Customer: “Haha, sorry! Guess you weren’t fast enough!”

Friend: “Are you kidding me? I’m not going to fight you for that sweater, but there’s no way you’re cutting back in front of me.”

Customer: “Whatever. I didn’t even leave the line.”

(A nearby employee, who has seen the entire exchange, speaks up before I can say another word.)

Employee: *to the customer* “Ma’am, I just saw you step out of line. You need to go to the back of the queue.”

Customer: “No way! I’ve been waiting forever! It’ll take me another hour to check out!”

Employee: “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t let you buy anything from us at all!”

(The customer stomps all the way to the back of the store.)

Friend and Me: *to the customer* “Haha, sorry! Guess you just weren’t quick enough!”

This story is part of our Black Friday roundup!

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