Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,842 thumbs up)
  • Archive for 2011

    Jump to page:

    Placebo Me, Part 2

    | USA | At The Checkout

    Customer: “I need a pack of blue [brand] 100′s please.”

    (I go and get exactly the cigarettes that she requested.)

    Me:“Here you go!”

    Customer: “No, I need the blue ones!”

    Me: “Ma’am, these are blue.” *points to the blue label*

    Customer: “No, I want the shorts.”

    (I return the 100′s for the kings, still blue.)

    Customer: “No! I wanted the BLUE ONE-HUNDREDS! Are you color blind? Do you not know what you’re doing?!”

    (I return the kings and return again with the exact same pack of blue 100′s that I gave her the first time.)

    Customer: “That’s better. You might want to get your hearing checked.”

    Related:Placebo Me

    Silly Boy, Stamps Are For Muggles

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (A customer comes to my till with two boxes of envelopes.)

    Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you need stamps?”

    Customer: *stares*

    Me: “For your envelopes?”

    Customer: “What are stamps?”

    Me: “Mailing stamps…for your envelopes.”

    Customer: *stares*

    Me: “To mail your envelopes.”

    Customer: “Oh. No.”

    Local And Lost

    | Corpus Christi, TX, USA | Geography

    (A customer has just moved from Hawaii to Oregon not too long ago, and needs a number to a different department who had different business hours.)

    Me: “They are open 7 AM to 10 PM, your local time.”

    Customer: “Okay.” *pause* “Does that mean my local time in Hawaii or my local time in Oregon?”

    Me: “What state are you in?”

    Customer: “Oregon.”

    Me: “Okay, then that means your local time is Oregon time.”

    Customer: *pause* “But I used to live in Hawaii. Shouldn’t that be my local time?”

    Me: “Um, but you live in Oregon now, which makes that your local time. You’re not in Hawaii anymore.”

    Customer: *unconvinced* “Okay, bye.”

    Not Always Right: Official FREE iPhone/iPod App

    | iPhone/iPod Touch |

    Good news, iOS users! Not Always Right’s Official iPhone/iPod App is FINALLY available in a FREE, ad-supported version!

    Easily view, share, and save all of the hilarious stories on your phone with the official app. You can even submit your own stories right from the app!

    Features:
    * Top stories – as voted by users just like you
    * Recent stories
    * Submit – upload your own stories right from the app
    * Share – send stories to friends, family, and coworkers via Facebook, SMS, and email

    Get your free NAR iPhone app today!

    PS – looking for an ad-free version? Check out our original paid app!

    Folie A Deux

    | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working in the men’s department when a well-dressed, handsome man comes up with a few pairs of pants. Most of them are one size, while one or two are one size larger than that.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

    Me: “I see here that these are one size larger than the others. Did you need the two different sizes?”

    Customer: *sheepishly* “Yes, actually, I do.”

    Me: “I was just checking. Sometimes clothes don’t get put back in the proper piles and sizes get mixed up.” *continues ringing him up* “Are you purchasing these as a gift? We can provide you with a gift box.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, both sizes are for me.” *leans in to whisper* “You see, I need one size for most of the time, and another for… that time of the month.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “Don’t judge me! My wife cooks fattier foods for a whole week when…you know! It’s like Thanksgiving every night for a week!”

    Me: “Oh, wow. I can’t imagine what she’s like while pregnant.”

    Customer: *visibly pales* “I hadn’t thought of that. Oh, no. I can’t have that happen! I’ll get FAT!”

    Page 8/305First...678910...Last