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Placebo Me, Part 2

| USA | At The Checkout

Customer: “I need a pack of blue [brand] 100’s please.”

(I go and get exactly the cigarettes that she requested.)

Me:“Here you go!”

Customer: “No, I need the blue ones!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are blue.” *points to the blue label*

Customer: “No, I want the shorts.”

(I return the 100’s for the kings, still blue.)

Customer: “No! I wanted the BLUE ONE-HUNDREDS! Are you color blind? Do you not know what you’re doing?!”

(I return the kings and return again with the exact same pack of blue 100’s that I gave her the first time.)

Customer: “That’s better. You might want to get your hearing checked.”

Related:Placebo Me

Silly Boy, Stamps Are For Muggles

| Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid

(A customer comes to my till with two boxes of envelopes.)

Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Do you need stamps?”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “For your envelopes?”

Customer: “What are stamps?”

Me: “Mailing stamps…for your envelopes.”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “To mail your envelopes.”

Customer: “Oh. No.”

Local And Lost

| Corpus Christi, TX, USA | Geography

(A customer has just moved from Hawaii to Oregon not too long ago, and needs a number to a different department who had different business hours.)

Me: “They are open 7 AM to 10 PM, your local time.”

Customer: “Okay.” *pause* “Does that mean my local time in Hawaii or my local time in Oregon?”

Me: “What state are you in?”

Customer: “Oregon.”

Me: “Okay, then that means your local time is Oregon time.”

Customer: *pause* “But I used to live in Hawaii. Shouldn’t that be my local time?”

Me: “Um, but you live in Oregon now, which makes that your local time. You’re not in Hawaii anymore.”

Customer: *unconvinced* “Okay, bye.”

Not Always Right: Official FREE iPhone/iPod App

iPhone/iPod Touch | Uncategorized

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Folie A Deux

| Illinois, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(I am working in the men’s department when a well-dressed, handsome man comes up with a few pairs of pants. Most of them are one size, while one or two are one size larger than that.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “I see here that these are one size larger than the others. Did you need the two different sizes?”

Customer: *sheepishly* “Yes, actually, I do.”

Me: “I was just checking. Sometimes clothes don’t get put back in the proper piles and sizes get mixed up.” *continues ringing him up* “Are you purchasing these as a gift? We can provide you with a gift box.”

Customer: “Oh, no, both sizes are for me.” *leans in to whisper* “You see, I need one size for most of the time, and another for… that time of the month.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Don’t judge me! My wife cooks fattier foods for a whole week when…you know! It’s like Thanksgiving every night for a week!”

Me: “Oh, wow. I can’t imagine what she’s like while pregnant.”

Customer: *visibly pales* “I hadn’t thought of that. Oh, no. I can’t have that happen! I’ll get FAT!”

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