(I am walking by a small selection of candles our store holds.)

Customer: “Honey! Vacation! It smells like vacation!”

(Now I’m curious and walk over.)

Me: “Sir, what fragrance do you have there?”

Customer: “VACATION!” *beams*

(My little brother is lamenting how different he is from everyone else in the family.)

Little brother: “Dad, was I adopted?”

Dad: “Yes, but they brought you back.”

(I am a greeter for the line to get pictures taken with Santa. A young mother and her two-year-old walk in.)

Me: “Hi! How are you folks doing today? Some little guy sure is adorable!”

Mom: “Hi! Oh, thanks! He looks just like Justin Bieber!”

Me: “Er… congratulations?”

(My fiancée is in the habit of taking off her engagement ring when she does the dishes. She’s also in the habit of forgetting to put it back on. I’m in the kitchen grabbing a drink, and I see the ring on the counter. Once I’m in the bedroom, where she’s studying, I crawl onto the bed with the ring in hand.)

Me: “Will you marry me…again?”

Fiancée: *upset that she forgot the ring* “Oh, crap!”

Me: “Not the answer I was looking for.”

(I work at a kids’ clothing store and a customer comes in with his wife. He is holding his newborn baby.)

Customer: “Look what we made!”