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No Faith In Science

| Canberra, Australia |

Child: “What’s the Cretaceous period?”

Mother: “Something scientists made up.”

Me: *chiming in* “It’s the third period that the dinosaurs lived in. It was from about 140-65 million years ago.”

Child: “Really?”

Mother: “The Cretaceous period is just something that scientists made up to dispute Christ.” *turns to face me* “But we won’t get into that.”

What’s Yours Is Mine

| NC, USA |

(In our arcade, we have redeemable prizes for tickets you win by playing games.)

Me: *after counting a little girl’s tickets* “Okay, you have 25 tickets.”

Customer: “Give me a watermelon Air Head!”

Me: “I’m sorry. You don’t have enough tickets for that.”

Customer: “But my President is black!”

Me: “And so is mine.”

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum

| Madison, WI, USA |

(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1: “Oh my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2: “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1: “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

Deaf Defying Customers

| WA, USA |

(Please note, I am hearing impaired.)

Customer: “Hello. Do you have any [brand] perfume?”

Me: “No we don’t.”

Customer: “But… but… I want it!”

Me: “You could try one of the outlet stores. Currently this store does not carry it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you call the store in Bellingham?”

Me: “I could check online for you to see if we have it in stock in Bellingham, but the stores do not carry it.”

Customer: *shouting* “Call the f***ing store!”

Me: “I’m hearing impaired. I cannot talk on the phone.”

Customer: “Just f***ing call them!”

(I proceed to call the store, but because I cannot hear I am constantly asking the person on the other end to repeat what they are saying.)

Customer: “What are you, deaf?!”

Me: “Yes, actually.”

*pause*

Customer: “Oh.”

Cutting Remarks (Comic)

| Greenville, SC, USA | Old Comics


Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

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