(A teenage customer is trying to buy a cell phone. He has an out-of-state ID that appears fake. It is brought to me to check it.)
Me: “We can’t accept this ID. It’s not valid.”
Customer: “Can you tell me what’s wrong with it compared to a real one, so I’ll know for next time?”
Me: “If you can fax me the paperwork by the end of the day, we can deliver it on Friday.”
Customer: “I just have to run out and get some more ink for my printer. Hopefully, I’ll be back by five to send it.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said you already had the form filled out. If you still need to print it, it might be a bit difficult to get it to us.”
Customer: “No. I have it filled out. I can’t send a fax without ink!”
Me: “That’s okay. We have ink in our printer, so it will still come through.”
Customer: “You obviously know nothing about technology!”
(I’m speaking on the phone with my husband when a customer approaches me to check out. I don’t like to talk on the phone while with a customer, so I just hang up. My husband understands when this happens. He usually just waits for me to call back.)
Customer: “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt your call!”
Me: “It’s fine. It was just my husband. I’ll call him back.”
Customer: *gasps* “No! You never hang up on your husband! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you did that!” *turning to other customers in line* “She hung up on her husband! I can’t believe that!”
Me: “No, really, it’s okay. I’ve done it before. He understands when a customer comes to my register.”
Customer: *shouting* “You’ve done it before! Call him back right now and apologize!”
Me: “I’ll just call him after.”
Customer: “Now!”
(She waits for me to literally dial his number and say ‘I’m sorry for hanging up on you’. She wouldn’t let me finish until I told him I loved him and hung up.)
Customer: “See? That’s how you speak to him on the phone.”
(I finish up with her and she leaves smiling. When I finally call my husband back for real, he can not stop laughing at me.)
This story is part of our Crazy Checkout Encounters roundup!
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Me: “Thank you for calling [Company Name] tech support. How can I help you today?”
Caller: *thick inner-city accent* “Yeah. Phone don’t work. It’s all like ‘WHAAAAAAT’ and needs to be like ‘YAAYUUUUHHH’.”
Me: “What exactly is not working, sir?”
Caller: “My phone.”
Me: “I understand your phone is having issues. What exactly is it doing?”
Caller: *slowly and deliberately* It’s all like ‘WHAAAAAAT’, and needs to be like ‘YAAYUUUUHHH’.
Me: “How about we just exchange the phone?”
(I have just entered a customer’s order coming to $15.50. He hands me a twenty.)
Customer: “Oh, could I get another small popcorn too?”
Me: “Of course, sir.”
(I get the popcorn and add it to the order. It now totals $19.95. I give him 5 cents back. The customer walks away and I finish a few more orders. He comes back angry.)
Customer: “You shortchanged me!”
Me: “Are you sure, sir?”
Customer: “Of course I’m sure, you idiot! You only gave me back a nickel. You took four bucks from me! Give it to me now!”
Me: “I can’t just give you money from the till. In fact, I remember your order. It was $19.95 and you gave me a twenty.”
Customer: “Don’t lie to me! It was fifteen something!”
(My manager overhears.)
Manager: “What’s going on here?”
Customer: “This b*** short changed me four bucks!”
Me: “Sir, you saw the total at $15.50. Then, you asked for a small popcorn. Do you remember that?”
Customer: “Count the cash in the drawer! No, wait. She probably pocketed it! Empty your pockets now!”
(I show him there is nothing in my pockets.)
Customer: “She probably put it in her bra! Take off your clothes! Now!”
Manager: “She’s not taking off any clothes.”
Customer: “Fine! Then just let me put my hand in her bra and get my money out!”
