Archive for 2011

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No Sting In This Tale, Part 2

| FL, USA | Uncategorized

Beach Patron: “Excuse me, are these blue jelly things on the beach dangerous?”

Me: “Yes sir, they are in fact Portuguese Man-o-War. They are extremely painful and can still sting you while on land.”

Beach Patron: “They can’t walk, can they?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Beach Patron: “Meaning they can’t walk on land and chase you?”

Me: “No sir, they only live in water.”

Beach Patron: “I feel much safer. Thank you.”

Related:
No Sting In This Tale

Living On The Edge (Comic)

| NEW YORK, NY, USA | Old Comics


Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

Say No To Yes

| NY, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Where do you have–wait, did you say ‘Yes’?”

Me: *confused* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I said ‘Hello,’ and you said ‘Yes.’ Is that what just happened?”

Me: “I believe so.”

(She rolls her eyes and quickly walks out the store.)

Jingling, It Would Seem, Is Not The Key

| QC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I’m working in the cheese section of the deli, with my back turned to the meat slicer. Suddenly, I hear jingling. I check the floor to see if I dropped something, then continue working.)

*jingling resumes*

(I turn around and notice a customer at the meat slicer counter, jingling his keys at me. He then starts making noises one would use to call a pet.)

Me: “Sir, we have bell.”

Customer: *looks at bell*

Customer: *pauses*

Customer: *jingles keys*

Kids Pop The Best Questions

| Redding, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m currently 8 months pregnant with a little boy, and in my anticipation of my impending motherhood I love chatting to the little ones that come through my line.)

Me: “How old are you?”

Boy: “I’m four, but I am three feet tall which is really tall for my age. I am just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger, just like you are going to get fatter and fatter and fatter.”

(I laugh hysterically.)

Mother: “Honey, she isn’t fat. There’s a baby in there.”

Boy: *wide eyes* “How do they get a baby in there? Why is she working?”

Mother: “I don’t know why she is working.”

Me: “I’m going to have a little boy just like you who is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger.”

Boy: *panicked and near tears* “But you’ll pop!”

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