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    Archive for 2011

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    No Sting In This Tale, Part 2

    | FL, USA | Uncategorized

    Beach Patron: “Excuse me, are these blue jelly things on the beach dangerous?”

    Me: “Yes sir, they are in fact Portuguese Man-o-War. They are extremely painful and can still sting you while on land.”

    Beach Patron: “They can’t walk, can they?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Beach Patron: “Meaning they can’t walk on land and chase you?”

    Me: “No sir, they only live in water.”

    Beach Patron: “I feel much safer. Thank you.”

    No Sting In This Tale

    Living On The Edge (Comic)

    | NEW YORK, NY, USA | Old Comics

    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    Say No To Yes

    | NY, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hello.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Where do you have–wait, did you say ‘Yes’?”

    Me: *confused* “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I said ‘Hello,’ and you said ‘Yes.’ Is that what just happened?”

    Me: “I believe so.”

    (She rolls her eyes and quickly walks out the store.)

    Jingling, It Would Seem, Is Not The Key

    | QC, Canada | Uncategorized

    (I’m working in the cheese section of the deli, with my back turned to the meat slicer. Suddenly, I hear jingling. I check the floor to see if I dropped something, then continue working.)

    *jingling resumes*

    (I turn around and notice a customer at the meat slicer counter, jingling his keys at me. He then starts making noises one would use to call a pet.)

    Me: “Sir, we have bell.”

    Customer: *looks at bell*

    Customer: *pauses*

    Customer: *jingles keys*

    Kids Pop The Best Questions

    | Redding, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m currently 8 months pregnant with a little boy, and in my anticipation of my impending motherhood I love chatting to the little ones that come through my line.)

    Me: “How old are you?”

    Boy: “I’m four, but I am three feet tall which is really tall for my age. I am just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger, just like you are going to get fatter and fatter and fatter.”

    (I laugh hysterically.)

    Mother: “Honey, she isn’t fat. There’s a baby in there.”

    Boy: *wide eyes* “How do they get a baby in there? Why is she working?”

    Mother: “I don’t know why she is working.”

    Me: “I’m going to have a little boy just like you who is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger.”

    Boy: *panicked and near tears* “But you’ll pop!”