Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,852 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2011

    Jump to page:

    Zombies Need Retail Assistance Too

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA |

    Me: “Hello. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “I’m alive.”

    Me: “That’s good. Find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Because if I wasn’t alive, I’d be dead. Or a zombie.”

    Me: “I guess you would.”

    Customer: “Do you like zombies?”

    Related:
    Zombies Need Tech Support Too
    Zombies Need Healthcare Too
    Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too

    Making A Rash Decision

    | VA, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like a cinnamon crunch bagel with honey walnut cream cheese, and a cup of coffee.”

    Customer’s sister: “What?!”

    Customer: “I can handle it.”

    Customer’s sister, to me: “She’s allergic to walnuts.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not too allergic.”

    Me: “Uhm..”

    Customer: “I’ll just break out into a rash. I won’t die or anything. You don’t have to worry about that.”

    Me: “I’m not so sure I—”

    Customer: “It’s just so good. I can’t help it!”

    Blind-siding Stereotypes

    | San Francisco, CA, USA |

    (I work at a start-up company in a very small office space that used to be a window shades store. We occasionally get people knocking on the door looking for the old business. A gentleman knocks on the door and I talk to him.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I bought these blinds, and they don’t fit my window.”

    Me: “Oh, you’re at the wrong place. That was the last tenant. This isn’t a shade store anymore.”

    Customer: “Oh, but in the phone book this is listed.”

    Me: “I know. He hasn’t updated it. We’re not a shade shop. I hope you get help with your problem.”

    Customer: “Well, you might be able to help. You’re a woman. Women put up blinds a lot.”

    The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To get Neutered, Part 2

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    (We run a camp for dogs to play. We often let the owners know of bad dog behavior.)

    Customer: “How did our dog do today?”

    Me: “Well, sir, he did a lot of humping today.”

    Customer: “Just like his dad.”

    Customer’s wife: “Oh my God.”

    Related:
    The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered

    The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision

    | Joliet, IL, USA |

    (I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

    Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

    Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9pm.”

    Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

    Page 189/305First...187188189190191...Last