November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Archive for 2011

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Bi Now, Gay Later

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Could you tell me if this store is bisexual?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You know, like men’s clothes and women’s clothes together?”

Me: “Unisex? Yes, ma’am, the store is unisex.”

Customer: “Oh, good. Do you go both ways?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can help you with all your purchases.”

Acting Flippantly, Part 3

| WI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is calling in with internet problems.)

Me: “Let me reset some of your equipment. It works best if your modem is off. Can you flip off the power switch for me?”

Customer: “Is something supposed to change when I do that?”

Me: “The LED’s on the front of the modem should go dark.”

Customer: “They’re still on. I’ve been giving it the middle finger for 30 seconds now, and the lights are still on.”

Acting Flippantly, Part 2
Acting Flippantly

For Some, Reading Is Total Kabul

| Dallas, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Patron: “I need some books on Afghanistan.”

Me: “Okay, I can show you where that section is in the non-fiction.”

(I lead the patron over. There are several books on the subject.)

Patron: “So are these, like, books you have to read? Because my school library had some of those, but it’s not what I wanted.”


| Peotone, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Which is the better of these two cake mix brands?”

Me: “Well, both are on sale. One does contain more trans-fats, though.”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll go with this one. I’d rather use shortening than a stick of butter. Don’t want all of them…uh…transvestites.”

Pseudo-Named And Shamed

| London, UK | Uncategorized

(I’m an author doing a book signing in a shop. I’m female with an obviously female name. The name is also on the book. There’s also a large poster with my name and photo on.)

Customer: “When’s he going to get here?”

Me: “Who?”

Customer: “The author.”

Me: “I’m the author.”

Customer: “But, you’re a woman.”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, I get it. You’re one of them pseudonym things.”