(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)
Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”
Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”
Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”
Customer: “Well, why not?”
Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”
Customer: “Well, how long will that take?”
Me: “It’ll come in tomorrow.”
Customer: “So, how many days will that be?”
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1,057 Thumbs Up!)
(At the cell phone company I work for, there is a notorious caller, referred to by us all as “The Pink Pencil Guy”. New hires are warned of him in training. He doesnt even have an account. He just calls from untraceable phones. He only talks to female employees. I’ve talked to him twice. This is how my first encounter with him goes.)
Me: “Thanks for calling, how can I help you?”
Caller: “I have a pink Motorola RAZR and I need you to help me change my ringtone. On my pink RAZR.”
Me: “Okay, I can do that. Do you have–”
Caller: “But first, I need you to tell me to get my pink pencil and my pink pad of paper.”
Me: “I can’t do that.”
Caller: “Just tell me to get my pink pencil and pink pad of paper, now!”
(He eventually gives up and ends the call, which was good for me: when he’s lucky to get a rep who will play along, he’ll get more and more sexual about it for as long as he can get away with it.)
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885 Thumbs Up!)
Retail | Westminster, MD, USA |
(It’s my first day at work and I’m bagging for a coworker. An elderly man comes up to the register and blatantly stares at me.)
Customer: “You’re beautiful.”
Me: “Well, thank you!”
Customer: “But you have a mean look on your face.”
(I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve been doing nothing but smiling the entire time.)
Me: “I’m, sorry?”
Customer: “It’s okay. You have a beautiful face and a beautiful soul…and a beautiful aura. A very, very beautiful aura.”
Me: “Er, thank you?”
Customer: “But you just look so mean! Why can’t you look happy, beautiful?”
(This goes on for another few minutes before my coworker steps in to save me. I can’t wait to work tomorrow.)
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745 Thumbs Up!)
(I work in a call center that only calls the local area.)
Me: “Hello, sir, I’m just calling about–”
Customer: “What country are you calling from?”
Me: “Me? Wales, sir.”
Customer: “Don’t give me that. All of you people are based in India or something.”
Me: “I assure you, we’re not, sir. I’m not Indian; I’m based in Wales.”
Customer: “Sure you are! You companies are all the same.” *in Welsh* “I bet we don’t even speak the same language.”
Me: *in Welsh* “Sir, I’m not Indian. I’m in an office probably no more than ten minutes from you right now.”
Customer: “You know, for an Indian, you have excellent pronunciation.”
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1,729 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer has just had a heart attack, and our staff is giving her CPR. Another customer approaches.)
Customer: “Excuse me, but could you move? I need the ink behind you guys.”
Me: “Sir, this lady is suffering a medical illness. I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but you will have to wait.”
Customer: “How dare you treat your customers like this?! I’ll never shop here again!”
Manager: *fed up* “[Competitor] is across the parking lot. Have a nice day.”
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1,874 Thumbs Up!)
(We are whitewater rafting in West Virginia. While floating between rapids, a girl in her mid-20s from a large city in Virginia, randomly starts asking me questions.)
Customer: “Man! There are a lot of trees here. Why are there so many trees? Can’t you take some of them out?”
Me: “Um, okay. Why do we need to take the trees out?”
Customer: “Well, I thought trees had to be at least 20 feet apart!”
(It’s obvious she’s a city girl, so I decide to have a little fun.)
Me: “Oh, well let me explain. You see, over in Virginia, they plowed down the forest, built your parking lot, and then planted a couple trees to try and make it look pretty. Here in West Virginia, the trees naturally grew this way and we decided to leave them because we like oxygen.”
Customer: “Oh…well, trees are ugly.”
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1,317 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Hi there, darling. Uh, I was wondering, do you have any pads?”
Me: “Do you mean iPads?”
Customer: “Yeah pads, iPads, whatever. Can you show me where they are?”
Me: “Sure, ma’am. Are you interested in the iPad or the iPad 2?”
Customer: “Wait…so, like, you use the iPad at day and the iPad 2 at night?”
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1,060 Thumbs Up!)
(This customer’s account has been overdrawn for over a month. This is due to several ATM withdrawals when she didn’t have the money in her account.)
Customer: “You need to refund these overdraft fees because you never notified me that I was overdrawn.”
Me: “According to the notes on your account, you called us every time before you made a withdrawal. Every time, a rep told you that you’d get a fee if you didn’t make a deposit to cover it the following day.”
Customer: “Nope, you never informed me of any fees. Yeah, I took $500 I didn’t have in the account, but I shouldn’t get fees because you never notified me of any fees. Refund them now!”
Me: “We also called you every day over the past month. We sent you a text and email alert every day. We also sent you 10 letters letting you know that your account is overdrawn. You will continue to get fees until you deposit enough money to cover the negative balance.”
Customer: “I throw away all my mail from you because I think it’s junk. I don’t check my email and I ignore your texts, so it’s not my fault that I didn’t know I was getting fees. Refund them now, because I wasn’t notified of the fees!”
Me: “Yeah, no. That’s not going to happen.”
Customer: “But you never notified me!”
Related:
Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
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1,599 Thumbs Up!)
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