(The computers in the computer lab are all in use. There is a sign up station to get the next available computer.)
Customer: “I signed up, but it didn’t work.”
Me: “I see your name. You will get the next available computer.”
Customer: “Which one?”
Me: “It depends which other customer leaves first.”
Customer: “So, it’s random?”
Me: “No, it’s not random. You are in the queue to get the next available computer.”
Customer: “Why didn’t you just say that? It’s random.”
Me: “No, sir, it’s not random. You will–”
Customer: “Queue isn’t a regular English word. Just say it’s random.”
Me: “Sir, computer number 14 is ready for you.”
Customer: *muttering* “It’s random.”
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974 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer walks in with an expensive 4G phone. It comes pre-loaded with the Iron Man 2 movie on the SD card.)
Me: “Welcome to [store]! How can I help you?”
Customer: “I have a problem. When I click on the Iron Man icon, it says ‘wrong memory card’. Why is that?”
Me: “Is that the original memory card that came with the phone?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “The movie is on the original memory card.”
Customer: “So, why isn’t it working?”
Me: “Because you changed memory cards.”
Customer: “Why’d I do that?”
Me: “I couldn’t tell you why you changed it.”
Customer: “Oh! This one had my porn!”
(The customer waves and walks out.)
Related:
Please, Say No More
Too Much Information, Part 6
Way, Way, Way Too Much Information
Way, Way Too Much Information
Way Too Much Information
TMI Redux
TMI (Too Much Information)
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902 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Where is the escalator?”
Me: “Go down this aisle and turn left. It’ll be right there.
Customer: “Where?”
Me: “Down this aisle, to the left.”
Customer: “Where?”
Me: “Let me show you.”
(I walk her over to about five feet from the escalator and point at it.)
Me: “It’s right here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Where is the escalator?”
(I move to stand almost on it.)
Me: “Right here.”
Customer: “This is the escalator?”
Me: “Yes”
Customer: “Oh, thank you! You are so pretty.”
(
1,116 Thumbs Up!)
(I am working the register today when one of my regulars comes in to buy a couple of things. He’s about 80 years old and lives across the street in a nursing home with his wife of 60 years. Nothing strange happens as I help him load the things from his electric cart onto the counter and we chat a bit as I ring him through. As I am loading the bags, however, things turn a little creepy.)
Customer: “You know, you’re just as cute as a button!”
Me: “Uh, thanks!” *smile*
Customer: “You know, when the wife goes, I just might have to take you home with me!”
Me: “Um–”
Customer: “See you tomorrow, sweet thing!”
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867 Thumbs Up!)
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