(It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

(The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

(The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*

(A customer walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi sir! What can I get—“

Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

(We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

(A man is browsing through the lingerie and I approach to see if he needs help.)

Me: “Are you shopping for a gift for your girlfriend?”

Customer: “Naw, it’s for shawty, my hollaback girl!”

(I work in a doctor’s office calling previous patients asking them to rate the quality of their visit. If they rate it “good” or below, I have to ask why and take down the reason. I have just gotten through most of the questions, when I ask the final one.)

Me: “…and would you rate our billing service as excellent, very good, good, fair, or poor?”

Patient: “Oh, good, I guess.”

Me: “Okay, and may I ask why you didn’t rate it excellent or very good?”

Patient: “It’s a BILL!”

Me: *laughing* “All right, I will make sure to make a note of that. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day!”