Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,686 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2010

    Jump to page:

    Best Try The Duet Yourself Checkout

    | Adelaide, Australia |

    (An elderly gentleman selects a paintbrush and takes it to the counter.)

    Customer: “Now, I don’t pay for items. I sing and dance on the table tops instead.”

    Me: (I laugh, thinking he’s joking.) “That’s $1.19 please.”

    Customer: “Well I reckon that’d be about a minute’s worth of singing.”

    Me: *still thinking he’s joking* “Actually it’s $1.19 so it’s probably more like a minute and twenty seconds.”

    (The customer then starts singing a monotone song – something about a cat. He is hobbling from side to side. I couldn’t help it; I just laughed until tears were running down my face.)

    Customer: “That was verse one! There are 93 more!”

    Me: “In that case I’ll just take the cash.”

    Shoplift Your Spirits

    | Detroit, MI, USA |

    (I witness this exchange between a customer and my manager.)

    Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave your backpack at the counter.”

    Customer: “Don’t worry about it. My policy is not to shoplift when my friends can’t spare bail money.”

    (The manager laughs and walks off, letting him keep his backpack.)

    Social Faux Pa Pa

    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    Child: “Daddy! Look at this!”

    (The father comes over to find his child looking at an adult magazine.)

    Father: *to me* “What the h*** is wrong with you? How can you let a 6-year-old boy look at this smut?!”

    Me: *ringing up another customer* “Sir, I’m with another customer right now.”

    Father: *waving the magazine in my face* “He is way too young for this! Why didn’t you stop him from looking at this?” *he starts screaming obscenities*

    (My manager walks by as this is happening.)

    Manager: “Sir, she is a cashier, not a babysitter. It is not her job to watch your child, it is yours. She was doing her job when you came up to scream at her. Now get out before I call the police.”

    (The man looks embarrassed as he leads his son out. A minute later, he walks back in.)

    Father: *mumbles* “I forgot my other son.”

    Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

    | Stoneham, MA, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for a book about a football player.”

    Me: “Do you know the title or author?”

    Customer: “It’s about a kid who plays football.”

    Me: “Is it fiction or nonfiction?”

    Customer: “Which is the real one?”

    Me: “You mean which is a true story?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Nonfiction books are true stories. Is it a biography or autobiography?”

    Customer: *exasperated* “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Biographies are written by someone else about a person, autobiographies are written by the person themselves.”

    Customer: “I doubt he wrote it; he’s a football player. Do you know how many hits those guys take to the head?!”

    Can’t Count On His Trust

    | Billings, MT, USA |

    (A group of four teens come in to see an R rated movie. Two of the kids have ID revealing their age to be 17. The two girls have no ID. I am a manager and am called over to assist.)

    Me: “What’s wrong here?”

    Male Customer: “See, me and him have our IDs because I drove.” *points to girls* “They are 17. They just forgot their IDs.”

    Me: “Well, you owe me $100.”

    Customer: “What? No I don’t.”

    Me: “Oh, so you don’t take my word for it? You don’t trust me.”

    Girl Customer: “Hey, we are 17. We know the rules. We just forgot our IDs.”

    Me: “If you knew the rules, then why didn’t you bring your IDs? I can’t sell you tickets, but can I suggest a PG-13 movie?”

    Male Customer: “Hey wait, why do I owe you $100?!”


    Page 8/265First...678910...Last