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    Archive for 2010

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    Honesty Among Thieves

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    (A couple walks in and sets off the alarm. It is store policy to ask if they have just bought anything and suggest they go back to have it desensitized.)

    Me: “Hi. Did you happen to just buy something that might have set off the alarm?”

    Customer: “No, we just stole a boatload of stuff next door and are coming in here now.”

    That Request Will Never Fly

    , | USA | Tourists/Travel

    (We hit a bit of turbulence. The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ light goes on, and the captain comes on the intercom to tell us all to stay seated and buckled in. Shortly after this, a woman hits her call light. I come on over.)

    Me: *bracing myself on the seat across the row* “Yes, ma’am?”

    Passenger: “Could I have a glass of water, please?”

    Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us to all stay seated for our safety.”

    Passenger: “But I wouldn’t be getting up!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us ALL to stay seated for our safety.”

    Passenger: “Oh! You too?”

    (As I turn to head back to my seat I overhear her talking to the passenger next to her.)

    Passenger: “But I’ve seen them moving around in all sorts of weather…”

    Common Sense On The Decline(d)

    | Canada |

    Caller: “My credit card was declined and I want to know why! I’ve never been so embarrassed! I will be canceling my credit card with your f***ing bank as soon as I make this last transaction!”

    (After properly identifying the customer, being yelled at for having to ask security questions and looking through the account, I find the answer.)

    Me: “The purchase did not go through today because you requested a hold on your account last week when you left your credit card at a shopping mall.”

    Caller: “Are you suggesting I’m stupid? I know I asked for a hold, but wouldn’t you incompetent people realize I must have my credit card if I am attempting a purchase?”

    (I remain silent as the customer realizes what they have just said.)

    Caller: “Oh!”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do to help you today?”

    Caller: *click*

    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

    | IN, USA |

    Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”

    Me: “Are you calling from the device?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”

    Related:
    Not So Smart-Phone

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

    Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Caller: “My PIN.”

    Me: “To your bank account?!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession


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