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    Archive for 2010

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    I Deign That Spain Stays Mainly In The Brain

    | Raleigh, NC, USA |

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello. You don’t sound American. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m Spanish.”

    Customer: “Oh, from Mexico.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m Spanish.”

    Customer: “You’re from Puerto Rico?”

    Me: “No, I’m Spanish. I’m from Spain.”

    Customer: “Oh, do they still have that country?”

    They Don’t Know Jack

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Customer: “This negative customer feedback [for my company about my services] uses someone’s name, so it should be removed.”

    Me: *reading the comment* “Ma’am, the customer said, ‘Paying extra for shipping didn’t do jack.’ ‘Jack’ refers to a phrase, not a name.”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve never heard that before. You say it’s a phrase, but to me it’s a name, and that’s personal information, and it should be removed.”

    Me: “Well, is there someone in your organization named ‘Jack?’”

    Customer: “No, there isn’t. I don’t know where she got that name from, but she’s up to something and you’re letting her get away with it!”

    Car Parked, Brain In Neutral

    | Downers Grove, IL, USA | Top

    Customer: “Hi, um, my car was stolen.”

    Me: “Well, okay, let’s go out and see where you’re parked.”

    (We walk into the parking lot.)

    Me: “Okay, where did you park?”

    Customer: “Right there, where the Prius is parked! God d***
    tree-hugging democrat piece of s***!”

    Me: “Okay, well, let’s go inside and call the police.”

    (While we wait for the police to come she makes some phone calls and then comes back into the office.)

    Customer: “Sorry, never mind. Turns out I drove the Prius today and not the Honda.”

    A Misunderstanding Of Pi

    , | Howard Beach, NY, USA |

    Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a large pepperoni pie and a bottle of [soda] delivered to [address].”

    Me: “Okay, your total is ***. That’ll be about a half hour. Is that all?”

    Customer: “Oh, also, how much extra would it cost to have my pie be 16 slices instead of 8? Because I’m really hungry tonight.”

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