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    Archive for 2010

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    No Flirting A-Loud

    | Midland, MI, USA |

    (I’m scanning out an elderly couple. The man is obviously hard of hearing.)

    Me: “Hello, and how are you folks today?”

    Customer: “You look so young. Why is that?”

    Me: “I’m only 19.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Customer’s wife: “SHE SAYS SHE’S NINETEEN!”

    Customer: “Oh…do you have a boyfriend?”

    Me: “I’m engaged, actually.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Customer’s wife: “SHE SAYS SHE’S ENGAGED!”

    Customer: “Oh…do you want to go out with me sometime?”

    Me: “Uh…here, I’ll just finish scanning your items for you.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Customer’s Wife: “SHE TURNED YOU DOWN!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    In Spock We Trust

    | Pickens, SC, USA |

    Customer: “Why is Star Trek on the wall?”

    Me: “It’s a new release sir, interested in renting it?”

    Customer: “Son, Star Trek is a tool of the Devil. I demand that you remove it from your shelves!”

    Me: “I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “God forgive you for corrupting the youth of America!”

    Many Problems To Address

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, I sent a letter last week but it came back. Can you tell me why?”

    Me: “Sure, do you have it with you?”

    (The customer hands it over. It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem.)

    Me: “Oh, okay. You’re going to need a valid house address to have it sent.”

    Customer: “I did put the address!”

    Me: “That’s an email address, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yes, and it’s valid. I checked!”

    Refreshingly Stupid

    | Washington, USA |

    Caller: “So, my item has been stuck in the shopping cart with the little thingy spinning for the last 20 minutes.”

    Me: “By any chance have you tried refreshing your screen?”

    Caller: “Of course. I’ve tried that three times now.”

    Me: “And what happened when you refreshed sir?”

    Caller: “The screen went black then came back on the screen with the spinny-thingy.”

    Me: “Sir, it sounds like your turning your monitor on and off, not refreshing the screen.”

    Caller: “Well, it looks refreshed to me!”

    Raceless Accusations

    | Indiana, USA |

    (One of my bosses is talking to me about a group of legal Mexican workers on our job site.)

    Boss: “Look at all them being lazy, taking our jobs.”

    Me: “Actually, we’ve been here for a month and we’re two and a half weeks behind. They’ve been here a week and they’re close to being done.”

    Boss: “Well, I’ll bet they’re all illegal.”

    Me: “They had to show their green card to the job site supervisor over there. I asked their boss.”

    Boss: “How’d you ask that him? I bet he can’t even speak English!”

    Me: “Actually, all but two of them speak pretty good English. I think one of them was even born in America.”

    Boss: “Well d*** it! Could you just let me hate them?!”

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