Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice, please?”
Me: “Sure, how can I help?”
Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”
Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”
Customer: *to me* “This is how much help I need. Would you, please?”
This story is part of the Embarrassing Parents roundup!
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This story is part of our Father’s Day roundup.
(We are hosting a visiting special exhibit featuring animals endemic to Madagascar. A customer approaches me.)
Customer: “Excuse me, I don’t think I saw the Madagascar inside the exhibit.”
Me: “I’m sorry, what?”
Customer: “The Madagascar. Was that the furry thing in the glass cage?”
Me: “Madagascar is a country, ma’am. It’s an island nation off the coast of Africa.”
Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I’ve seen the movie!”
This story is part of our Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!
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This story is part of our Geography roundup.
(A young female customer is paying for a work order. Her friends are nearby.)
Me: “The tech also recommends a tire rotation.”
Customer: “Oh okay… is that something I could get a friend to do?”
Me: “If they’ve got a jack and the lug nut key, sure.”
(Her friends come over.)
Customer: *to another young female friend* “I have to rotate my tires.”
Customer’s Friend: “I thought they did that when you drive?”
This story is part of the Auto-Shop roundup!
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(A client calls in regarding a payment he is expecting from us. I determine the reason for the delay, correct it, and all that is left is the processing of the payment.)
Me: “How would you like the payment, sir? Electronically or by cheque?”
Client: “Electronically, please.”
Me: “Not a problem. I just need your bank account details so we can transfer the payment.”
Client: *short pause* “Who are you again?”
Me: “I’m [My Name] from [Government Department].”
Client: “So this is [Government Department]? How do I know that’s true?”
Me: “Well, you called me.”
Client: “Did I? I’m still not sure. I think you’re faking it.”
Me: “Well, sir, if you’re uncomfortable providing your bank account details over the phone, we can send the payment via cheque.”
Client: “No, a cheque takes too long.”
Me: “We currently don’t have your bank account details, so you will need to provide them to us if you want electronic payment.”
Client: “Well, that’s no good.”
Me: “Cheque, then, sir?”
Client: “I guess. Do I have to give you my address?”
Me: “No, we already have your address unless… have you moved recently, sir?”
Client: *exasperated sigh* “How would I know that?”
(I am working near a copy station, and a woman comes up with a large stack of papers.)
Customer: “Do you have any zip ties to bind this with?”
Me: “Sure, here.”
(As she binds the papers, I see the word “Ethics” on the first page.)
Me: “Oh, is this for an ethics class?”
Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”
Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”
This story is part of our Customer Situations That Will NOT End Well roundup!
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This story is part of our Ironic Customer roundup!
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