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    Archive for 2010

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    Fish Trek 2: It All Goes Downstream From Here

    | Colorado, USAColorado, USA | Top

    Customer: “This book looks interesting. How do I watch it?”

    Me: “Watch it?”

    Customer: “Yes, where can I find the movie?”

    Me: “I don’t think this book has been adapted into a movie.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? Where can I go to watch it? I want to know what happens in the book!”

    Me: “Forgive me for asking, but if you want to know what happens, why not just read it?”

    Customer: “Read? How stupid! Where’s the movie! All books are made into movies so that we don’t have to read them!”

    Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you. This is a bookstore. Only popular books–usually adventure stories–are adapted into movies. I am quite sure that this book hasn’t been made into a movie.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s a fishing manual.”

    We Should Put A Cheesy Title Here But Then We’d Just Get Burned

    | Columbia, SC, USA |

    (A customer orders nachos and comes back 20 minutes later.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah I just ordered these nachos and the cheese ain’t hot!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. The dispenser is supposed to keep the cheese hot.”

    Customer: “Well you see this?” *sticks finger in the cheese* “I should be burning myself right now!”

    No Longer An Eye For An Eye

    | Washington DC, USA |

    (I have just found a spare eyeglass case for one of our doctors.)

    Doctor: “Thanks, what do I owe you?”

    Me: “Eh, don’t worry about it. We usually charge, but I’ve got you covered my friend.”

    Doctor: “Oh! I guess next time you need a prostate exam I’ll try and hook you up.”

    Me: “Uh, thanks?”

    Go Flush

    | Connecticut, USA |

    Me: “Hello! What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I need some more goldfish. I keep losing them.”

    Me: “You lose them? How do you lose your goldfish?”

    Customer: “They keep escaping when I clean the tank.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand. How do they escape?”

    Customer: “Well, when I clean the tank I put ‘em in the toilet. When I come back, one of them’s always swum down the hole!”

    Me: “I’m going to need to go over a few things with you before I sell you the fish.”

    Inn-Experienced Guest

    | Olympia, WA, USA |

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a room for the night.”

    Me: “Okay, the rate for tonight is [price].”

    Customer: *confused*”You mean it’s not free?”

    Me: “No, it’s [price].”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Not free?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Do the people upstairs know about this?”

    Me: “Yes. They all paid the same thing.”

    Customer: *walking away* “Crazy people.”

    Related:
    Inn-Experienced Dialer


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