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    Archive for 2010

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    Pane-ful Marriage

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Top

    (A customer who has just made a purchase comes back into our store asking for help; she’s locked her keys in her car. I go out to try and help.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your window is open.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Your window. It’s open.”

    (The customer reaches in and gets her keys, opens the door, rolls up the window, locks the car, throws the keys back inside, and closes the door.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I know! I know! It’s just that I already called my husband to bring the second set! He’d have given me h*** if he saw the window was open!”

    Customers Projections Can Leave You Reeling

    | California, USA |

    Customer: “Two for [movie].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that film at this theater.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The decisions on where to play the films are made by corporate.”

    Customer: “But I’m here and I want to watch that movie.”

    Me: “Well, I can sell you a ticket to another movie.”

    Customer: “But I want to see that one! Can’t you just go get it? I’ll wait here.”

    No Pranks, Just Thanks

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)

    Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

    Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

    Boy: “Yeah! Yeah and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

    Caretaker: *no response*

    Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

    Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

    Boy: *smiles*

    When Judgment Is Clouded

    | Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Military

    (We give weather forecast information for Royal Air Force aircrew officers for fast jet flying.)

    Caller: “Hi this is flying officer [name] with [squadron]. I need the weather for 5 hours time on the west coast.”

    Me: “So that’s the forecast pressure, wind and cloud cover?”

    Caller: “No, I don’t want the forecast conditions. I want the actual weather for 5 hours ahead.”

    Me: “I can only do actuals for what’s happened, but I can give my best forecast.”

    Caller: “No, that’s not good enough. I don’t want forecasts. I want to know what’s going to actually happen!”

    (Someone else takes the call.)

    Caller 2: “Hi this is [squadron] navigator. Sorry about that. Can I get the forecast conditions for him, please?”

    Driven To Recession

    | Cleveland, OH, USA |

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Are you interested in buying a car?”

    Customer: “What kind of car is this?”

    Me: “This is the new [model].”

    Customer: “Wait! I haven’t seen one of those since the 1990′s!”

    Me: “Yes, our brand actually brought out a new–”

    Customer: “So you have a car here from the 1990′s, still have a new sticker price on it, and expect me to pay full price?”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s a new car.”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? You people know nothing about the car business! Why would you openly advertise that you couldn’t sell a car for over ten years? That tells me you’re an awful business!”

    Me: “But ma’am, it’s not a car actually from a decade ago. It’s a remake of that car. It was made this year.”

    Customer: “Either you’re a liar or this car company is a joke! This is why the recession took place, because of this!”

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