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    Archive for 2010

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    Driving On The Blind Side Of Caution, Part 2

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada |

    (An elderly woman is picking up some photos. She is wearing extremely thick glasses but still can’t seem to see very well. She’s squinting at the pricing sign on the wall.)

    Customer: “What’s that big sign say?”

    Me: “It’s a list of our prices for different sized photos.”

    (I read out the prices.)

    Me: “Here are your pictures. It comes to [price].”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you.”

    (She pulls out her wallet and holds it inches away from her eyes as she tries to find the right money.)

    Customer: “Is this bill a five or a ten?”

    Me: “That’s a five.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (She puts the bill on the counter and then pours some coins into her hand. After a few seconds of trying to see the coins, she holds her hand out to me.)

    Customer: “Would you mind counting the change out for me? The coins are so small!”

    Me: “No problem.” *counts change* “Have a good day.”

    (She pulls a set of car keys out of her pocket and walks out the door, leaving me and one of my co-workers with our mouths open.)

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    Driving On The Blind Side Of Caution

    Hugh Grant & Julia Roberts Would Disagree

    | London, UK |

    (Two tourists are buying London Underground train tickets to Notting Hill.)

    1st Tourist: “Where are we going?”

    2nd Tourist: “Notting Hill. It’s where Robin of Sherwood is from.”

    Walking Tall, Thinking Small

    | South Portland, ME, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel], how can I help you?”

    Guest: “I’m wondering if you have any vacancies tonight?

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I tell her the availability and prices.)

    Guest: “Well, I have a walk-in coupon for a lower price. Can I use that?”

    Me: “Sure, but I wont be able to make a reservation for that price because it is for a walk-in only.”

    Guest: “Okay, I’ll need to take your airport shuttle though. Can I still use the walk-in rate?”

    Me: “I’m not sure I understand.”

    Guest: “I’m taking a shuttle. I wont be walking in!”

    Related:
    Walking Tall, Thinking Small

    Yukon Not Believe This Juan, Part 2

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Canada, Military

    (Canadian Army Reservists go to Fort Pickett in Virginia to train with the National Guard. I am in the last flight out of the U.S. and back to Nova Scotia. I am in my uniform, waiting for to be processed through security when a fellow traveler approaches me.)

    Traveler: “Thank you so much for protecting us! We are so proud of the bravery of soldiers defending the United States!”

    Me: “Thank you ma’am, but I’m not an American. I’m from the Canadian Army.”

    (She looks confused, so I point to the small Canadian flag on my shoulder.)

    Me: “You know, your friendly neighbours to the north?”

    Traveler: “Oh! Mexico!”

    Related:
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan

    One Sells Cats, The Other Sells Cat-Suits

    | Fontana, CA, USA | Top

    (I am the assistant manager at a store that specializes in adult videos and toys.)

    Customer: “How did you end up here anyway?”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “How did you end up working here?”

    Me: “I applied?”

    Customer: “No, I mean, what’s an innocent little girl like you doing working at a place like this?”

    Me: “Well, you know how people who love animals work at pet stores?”

    (The customer has a moment of realization and becomes clearly flustered.)

    Customer: “Oh…well, excuse me.” *leaves hurriedly*


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