Customer: “Hi, I would like to return this TV.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with it?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work right.”

Me: “Okay, I will just have to take a look at it. May I see your receipt?”

Customer: “You can’t look at the TV. It doesn’t work, that’s all! You need to know give me my money and send it back!”

Me: “Sir, it is store policy. I have to look at the returned item before I can give you your refund.”

(The customer stays silent. We open box to find a remote actually stuck into the TV screen.)

Customer: “So, am I not gonna get that refund now?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a book called Like Watery Chocolate For Chocolately Water or something.”

Me: “Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel?”

Customer: “Um…no…it’s by this Mexican author.”

Me: “Yes, Laura Esquivel. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No, it has all these recipes in it.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.’

Customer: “No it has like this blue cover.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. I can take you right to it, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it! They’re making a movie out of it!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No! Oh, you’re just no help at all!” *stomps off*