Caller: “I have an unauthorized charge on my account!”

Me: “Which charge is it?”

Caller: “The one from [restaurant known for waitresses with ample sized busts]. That was a Sunday…I would never go there on a Sunday! Someone must have stolen my card. This is so insulting, to have this charge on there. I need you to remove it immediately!”

Me: “Sir, the date on your account summary is the date the charge cleared your account. The actual date of the transaction at the establishment was two days before, on Friday.”

Caller: “Oh…then that was me.”