Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,727 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2009

    Jump to page:

    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2

    | Colville, WA, USA |

    (A little boy is about to go off the high dive when I stop him. His grandmother, upset, approaches and questions me.)

    Grandmother: “Why won’t you let my grandson swim?”

    Me: “We don’t believe he is a strong enough swimmer to be safe in the deep end.”

    Grandmother: “So can he just go off the high dive?”

    Me: “No, if he went off the high dive, he would most likely drown.”

    Grandmother: “Well, you are a lifeguard! Isn’t it your job to stop him from drowning? You are discriminating against my grandchildren! You lifeguards are just lazy!”

    Related:
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End

    Please Insert Coffee To Continue

    | Connecticut, USA |

    (While working at the drive-thru, a customer puts in a lengthy order. Before I can tell him the price, he peels out, driving up to the window.)

    Me: “That will be $21.54, please…” *I take his money* “May I please ask that you pull up just a bit? We’ll have someone run your order out to you as soon as it’s done.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Sir, can you please pull forward?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my order yet.”

    Me: “Sir, you had a large order. We’re going to get it for you, but some of what you asked for takes time. We’ll bring it to you. But we need to keep the line moving too.”

    Customer: *no response*

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “Yes?”

    Me: “Can you please drive up?”

    Customer: “But I don’t have my order…”

    (I try to hand him the first tray of drinks, but he ignores them. Same thing goes for the sandwiches. In a last ditch effort, I hand him his coffee. He accepts the coffee but immediately drives off, leaving $18.46 in change, 4 sandwiches, and 3 frozen drinks. He never returned for the rest of his order.)

    It’s Going To Be A Long Day

    | Oregon, USA |

    Me: “What type of internet do you have?”

    Customer: “Internet Explorer.”

    Me: “No, sorry, I meant what type of internet, like your ISP?”

    Customer: “Internet.”

    Me: “No, what type.”

    Customer: “Uh…modem?”

    Me: “What kind of modem?”

    Customer: “Black.”

    Me: “Is it plugged into a phone cable or a coaxial cable? Like a cable you’d plug into your TV.”

    Customer: “It’s plugged in to…the wall.”

    Related:
    A Sign Of A Long Day

    Not To La-boar The Point

    | California, USA |

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. What would you like, sir?”

    Customer: “Actually, I have a question. What is ham made of?”

    Me: “It’s made of pigs.”

    Customer: “Pigs? What are pigs made of?”

    Me: “Pigs, the animal.”

    Customer: *confused look*

    Me: “Oink oink.”

    Customer: “Oh! Does that mean it’s not vegan?”

    H2Slow

    | Australia |

    Customer: “Hello. I bought this phone from you and I accidentally got some orange juice on it.”

    Me: “Okay, well if it didn’t get too much on it, it might be okay. Is it turning on?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I take the phone and it has a lot of moisture damage.)

    Me: “It looks like there’s quite a lot of juice on this.”

    Customer: “Oh that’s not juice. I ran it under the tap to get the juice off!”

    Page 3/27412345...Last