November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Archive for 2009

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Miracle On 24th Street

| Fallon, NV, USA | Uncategorized

(I had activated a phone for a new customer with a standard two-year agreement. The next day, she comes back into the store, clearly irritated.)

Me: “Hi, welcome back. How is your new phone working?”

Customer: “You messed up my contract. You need to fix it.”

Me: “Okay, what is the problem with your contract?”

Customer: “You said I had a two-year contract, but on this paperwork it says 24 months. You need to fix it.”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing wrong with the contract.”

Customer: “Yes, there is. You said two years and this says 24 months!”

Me: “Ma’am… how many months are in a year?”

Customer: “Twel–oh…well, now I feel stupid!”

Math Is Your Friend
Math Saves The Day Yet Again

The World: America’s Theme Park

| Kuranda, Australia | Uncategorized

(Note: this takes place at our cafe in Kuranda, Australia.)

Tourist: “Lady, how about we make a deal? I wanna buy this bottle from you.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We only have four of the blue ones and they’re not for sale.”

Tourist: “So you’re telling me I can’t buy this?”

Me: “Yes… I know it’s a nice bottle, but we do need it for the water.”

Tourist: “Lady, I don’t think you understand what I’m getting at.”

(The tourist pulls a wad of US money from his wallet.)

Tourist: “I got REAL money here!”

Imperialism At Its Finest

Testing The Testers

| Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

Me: *on the phone* “**** Admissions, this is ****. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. A man called me from your office yesterday. Can you tell me who that was?”

Me: “Well, there are a number of men who work in our office. Do you remember his name?”

Caller: “It was a man.”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am. However, there are five men in our office who could have called you.”

Caller: “Can you list them for me?”

(I proceed to list the males who work in our office.)

Caller: “No, those don’t sound right.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those are the only men who work in this office.”

Caller: “It was a man!”

Me: “Yes, I understand. However, I can’t help you unless you know any more details. Can you tell me what the call was regarding?”

Caller: “It was a man! That’s all I know! Please transfer me to the man who called me! You should be able to know who called me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t track calls that go out. That’s a privacy issue. However, if you could just give me some details…”

Caller: “My son’s name is ****. Why can’t you figure out who called me?!”

(I proceed to look up the counselor responsible for her son’s area of the country.)

Me: “All right, I have the name of the man right here. Would you like me to transfer you?”

Caller: “No, it’s all right. I’ll call him myself.” *hangs up*

The Child May Get A Himself Complex

| Eugene, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I was working at the registers as a lady walked in with a child in a stroller. One of the other employees walked up to her.)

Employee: “Aw, what a cute baby. What’s his name?”

Customer: “God.”

Employee: “You named the kid after God?”

Customer: “No, I named him God.”

Take Two Megabytes And Call Me In The Morning

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling Customer Support, my name is ****. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “I would like to cancel my prescription to the Internet.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you said…prescription?”

Customer: “Yes, I went with a high speed provider! I don’t need my prescription with you any more!”

Me: “…have you checked to see if that was OK with your doctor?”