Customer: “…and I’d like extra tomatoes on my sandwich, please.”
Me: “All right, that’ll be [price].”
Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!”
Me: “Well ma’am, you asked for cheese, bacon, and extra tomatoes. All those cost extra on the sandwich because they’re expensive products.”
Customer: “But your policy says that I can have it my way! Why am I being charged?!”
Me: “You can have it your way…you just have to pay for it.”
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2,502 Thumbs Up!)
Retail | Springfield, MO, USA |
(I witnessed this interaction between a girl and her dad.)
Dad: “Are you as picky about your toilet paper as your ex-step mom was?”
Girl: “No, not really.”
Dad: “OK, grab one of those then.”
(The girl reaches for a pack that’s on its side.)
Dad: “No, no, not that one. I want one that hasn’t been touched by human hands!”
Girl: “Are you saying the store employees aren’t human?”
Dad: “Well, you’ve seen them…you be the judge.”
(I had to walk off so they wouldn’t hear me laughing.)
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2,400 Thumbs Up!)
| Seaside Heights, NJ, USA |
(A pregnant teenage girl walks in with her mom and boyfriend.)
Customer: “Hi. Can I get my tongue pierced?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but you are pregnant, right?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “We can’t pierce anybody that’s pregnant, I’m sorry.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, any slight infection in your tongue could hurt your unborn child.”
Customer: “But that’s only if it gets infected, right?”
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1,763 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “…and your total comes to $4.45.”
Customer: “Well, I’m a close friend with the owner and he told me that you’ll hook me up with the drink.”
Me: “I’m sorry, unless he told me directly I can’t do that for you.”
Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”
Me: “Yes.”
(Coincidentally, Bob, the owner, shows up so I give him his usual coffee.)
Me: “Here you are, Bob!”
Customer: “Oh, so you can hook that jerk-off up with a free drink but not me?”
Me: “Sir, it’s not polite to call your close friend a jerk-off.”
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7,534 Thumbs Up!)
(A lady comes into our sandwich shop and orders a sub. Everything is normal until…)
Customer: “Could I get mayonnaise?”
Me: “Sure”.
(I put the mayonnaise on the sandwich.)
Customer: *orgasm noise* “Mooooore.”
Me: “Okay…”
Customer: *orgasm noise* “More mayonnaise!”
(I honestly think a little bit of my spirit died that day.)
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3,317 Thumbs Up!)
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