(I work in a clothing clearance outlet and I’m helping a kid pick out a pair of shoes whilst his mother is on the phone.)

Customer: “How much are these shoes?”

Me: “$100, but we’re having a sale with 50% off the price of everything in store, so those will end up being $50.”

Customer: “So, they’re free?”

Me: “No, they’re $50.”

Customer: “But 50% off $50 equals nothing, so they’re free!”

Me: “No, the original price is $100. It’s 50% off that price, which ends up being $50.”

Customer: “Hey, mum, these shoes are free!”

This story is part of our “Customers terrible at math” roundup!

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(I am working the drive-thru. It is raining heavily.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]; how can I help you?”

(All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

Customer: “Did you get my order?”

Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”

This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

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(I’m a member of the security staff at a casino, and three men approach me, one of them looking a little young.)

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

(The youngest one gives me an ID where it says he’s 22. I ask him how old he is just to check.)

Me: “How old are you?”

Customer: “17.” *pauses* “Ah, I f***ed up, didn’t I? I’ll just wait in the car.”

This story is part of our Fake ID roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories Of Truly Terrible Parent Customers

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(I am selling a TV to a middle-aged man and his wife.)

Me: “So, it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”

Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”

Me: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”

Husband: “Who in the h*** would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”

Wife: “I would!”

This story is part of our Bickering Couple roundup!

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This story is part of our Perfect Comebacks roundup!

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(I receive the following call while working at a home decor store.)

Me: “Hello, [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have table pads?”

Me: “Yes, we have custom ones, and we have ones you can buy here and cut yourself to fit your table.”

Customer: “Okay, how much are the ones you cut?”

Me: “$12.97.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll be in. Thanks.”

(A little while passes and the caller comes in.)

Customer: Hi, I called about the table pads. Could you show me where they are?

Me: “Sure, they’re right over here.” *takes them to the pads*

Customer: “Okay, thanks. I need it to be 14 by 11, so when are you going to cut it?”

Me: “I don’t cut it in the store. You have to cut it at home to fit your table.”

Customer: “You said you cut it here!”

Me: “No, I said you cut it yourself to fit the table.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know how to do that!”

Me: “You just lay it on the table and cut around the shape of the table.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to use to cut it?! I don’t have a special table pad cutting machine!”

Me: “How about scissors?”

Customer: “Oh… okay. I’ll take it.”