Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you sell ghost vacuums?”

Me: “Umm… no?”

Customer: “Ok, well… thanks anyway.”

(I have a flat screen TV near my workplace that was showing a recent cartoon on DVD: “Tinkerbell”. A customer comes by with
her toddler daughter in the cart, and watches a bit of the movie with the child.)

Customer: “Aw, that’s cute! What movie is that?”

Me: “It’s Tinkerbell“.

Customer: “My little girl likes that one. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s new, so it should be around 15 to 20 dollars.”

Customer: “15 to 20 dollars?! That’s almost all of my beer money!”

Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story

Me: “Thank you for calling **** at Santana Row. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Your stores are having midnight releases for ‘World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King’, right?”

Me: “Yes, certain locations are going to be open, but our store–”

Customer: *interrupting* “It’s already midnight in the East coast – you can’t you sell them now?”

Me: “Uhh… unfortunately not.”

Customer: “BUT WHY?! IT’S MIDNIGHT IN THE EAST COAST!”

Me: “Well, it’s not midnight here, so, NO, we can’t sell it.”

Customer: “But people will be leveling up before me!! AGHHH! This is bulls***!”

Me: “Either way, our location isn’t going to be open for the midnight release. The closest location that will be open for the midnight release is 45 minutes away.”

Customer: “So if I go there, they should be selling them?!”

Me: “Probably not. They’re still on Pacific Standard Time.”

Customer: “What should I do then?! Everyone on the East coast will have a head start!”

Me: “Maybe you should move to the East Coast.”

Customer: “What time are you closing?”

Me: “10:00 pm.”

Customer: “I’m coming right now!”

Me: “Ok…?”

(A customer comes in with “artistic” nude pictures of herself and her husband, and throws them on the counter.)

Customer: “What kind of frame should I put on these? They are going in the kitchen.”

Me: “The kitchen, huh? Well, I can start you off with a few options.” *I show her a few frames*

Customer: “…and how much would this be?”

Me: “$350.00 each.”

Customer: “For $350.00 I’d expect something a little more… phallic.”