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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Archive for 2008

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    At Least She Tried: Racism, Sexism AND Jesus

    | Upstate New York, USA | Top

    Female customer, from 15 feet away: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    (Customer comes over with her friends and a dirty soccer-ball shaped pillow.)

    Female customer: “This is the last one and it’s dirty. I want 20% off!”

    Me: “I’d like to give you a discount, but you’ll have to talk to one of my superiors. I don’t have the authority to do that.”

    Female customer: *points towards the sky* “My only superior is up there, and He’s the only one who I take orders from. ”

    Me: “Let me see if I can get a manager.”

    (I call for a manager, and of course, no one shows up. After 10 minutes…)

    Female customer: “Why can’t you give me a discount?”

    Me: “Because I don’t have the authority.”

    Female customer: “Well, I think you can’t give me a discount because you don’t believe in Jesus!”

    Me: “You can take that item to the service desk, and I’m sure they’d be able to help you out.”

    Female customer: “Yeah and we’ll stick out like a bunch of sore thumbs since we’re the only black people in the store!”

    Me: “Actually, our store manager is African American, as well as two of our assistant managers, who are both women.”

    Female customer: “Oh.” *she finally walks away*

    More Slippage

    | Greenwood, IN, USA | Uncategorized

    (I was working another very long day right after March of the Penguins had come out , stuck in the box office, when a sweet looking little old lady and her sweet little old lady friend walked up to the window.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Old lady: “Hello sweetie. I’d like one senior for March of the Penises.”

    Little old lady friend: “Oh my God…” *shocked, puts hand up to mouth, whispers to friend*

    Me: “I think you might have the wrong theater…”

    Of All The Moments For Freud To Slip

    It Runs In The Family

    , | California, USA | Uncategorized

    (A little kid comes running up to counter and points at our menu board above my head.)

    Kid: “I want that one!”

    Me: “The taco or the burrito, honey?”

    Kid’s mother: “Don’t point! That’s rude. You have to tell her what you want.”

    Kid: “I want the taco.”

    Me, turning to the mother: “Ok. What can I get for you?”

    Kid’s mother: *points* “I want that one.”

    Mindless Consumerism, How I Love Thee

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

    Kid: “Mommy mommy, I want those shoes!”

    Mom: “Why do you want those shoes?”

    Kid: “Because everyone else is wearing them.”

    Mom: “Wouldn’t you want to get something different and be more original?”

    Kid: “No…then I wouldn’t be original like everyone else!”

    Family Values

    | Laredo, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer hands me the tickets to the horror/torture movie, Hostel 2.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but this movie is R-rated and I’m afraid I can’t let your child in.”

    Customer, agitated: “Can’t you just let us in?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but I’d lose my job if I did that. I CAN help you find another movie.”

    (The customer then throws his $6 tub of popcorn in my face and all over the podium and walks off with his family. There’s good family values…)

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